(grits teeth, swallows...) Feedback for my work? (hangs head)

Hello Markbrown, you sound like a prime candidate for recruitment into the Storyshed group, which is a group of writers who look at one another's work and offer feedback prior to submitting it here or elsewhere. if you want to know more check us out in the Storyshed thread in "Writing from Elsewhere". The direct link is:

http://phorum.abctales.com/read.php?f=5&i=2162&t=2162

Hello Mark - depends on the sort of thing you like.

I would recommend that you look at the Writer of the Week for a start, and dip into the past writers of the week. There are plenty of other good writers - I've got my picks for the next four months sorted already, but these will give you a good start.

Mark! Ah-ha - a fellow Gang of Four fan, what can I say, i like ya already!

Just read 'I am an Insect' - people, read this story. Really great. Hooked me in from the first sentence to the last; great style and mood. I relate a little to the characters feelings of depression and isolation in a world gone mad. going to read your other stuff...

the 'dirt behind the daydream'...this is what i like.

Callum

Hello Mark,

Welcome to the site. For what it's worth, you've gone the right way about introducing yourself. I'm personally going to make sure to read your work, although it won't be for a week or so as I'm pretty busy.

I'm loathe to reccommend writers as I'll surely miss someone out. I'd rather chat to you at an abctales event and give my opinions. But if you're wondering where to start, you can't go far wrong by reading:

Jesse Clifford
Justyn Thyme
Ralph Dartford
Primate
Mississippi
Barry Wood
and, as Andrew says, previous "Writers of the Week."

Just read "I am an Insect" followed by "Wishing There was a Light That Never Went Out" (your newest piece?) I had previously read "Something Changed" which, if I remember rightly, was a Story of the Day. I don't mind giving you some feedback but it's going to be hopelessly subjective, because to be perfectly honest they aren't the kind of stories that I personally like. It's purely a matter of taste. I find the situations and the characters a bit depressing overall. I am always looking for a spark of hope or joy or something even in the darkest of situations and I suppose these stories just don't supply enough of that to satisfy me. They are also heavily descriptive pieces, creating mood and atmosphere rather than having an actual plot, which agin is not to my personal taste but perfectly valid. All stories don't have to dop the same thing. But having said all that I think the quality of writing is extremely high, and I was sufficiently gripped in all cases to want to read to the end. My personal favourite was the newest one, "Wishing there was...", probably because I found it more selfcontained and compact than the others and it had more of a narrativre thread and even a "message" of some kind about life (sounds dreadfully trite but I think it is something I look for in a story). Also not all of the characters were in horrinble situations living ugly and hopeless lives. You really wallow in that in "I am an Insect", and although it's brilliantly well told I just find the central character and his plight unattractive and ultimately unengaging. I suppose I'm just a hearetless and unsympathetic bastard. There are a couple of very minor typos in it by the way: Paragraph 5. "... My force of habit, I am and Insect, and I’m proud ..." Should be "I am an insect".
Para. 14. "...at odds with the bruise grey smudged that surround each eye" Should be "smudges".
So I would say I find your writing highly accomplished, very atmospheric, but too dark and downbeat for my personal taste. Will that do?

Sirat,

I can't speak about Mark's work, because I haven't read it yet, although your comments make clear that it is interesting and well-readable.

However, there are some minor typos in your criticisms:

Agin should probably be spelt "again."

"All stories don't have to dop the same thing," is a bit of a mystery.

"selfcontained" should probably have one of those straight line type things between the "self" and the "contained".

"horrinble" would more than likely read better if it were spelt without the "n".

We all make typos, man. Me more most. Give the guy a break.

P.S. I'm not getting on your case. You know I admire your own writing (and your interest in diving).

Hi Karl. Thanks for drawing my attention to those typos. I don't agree with you that we shouldn't point out minor typos in submitted work. I think it's annoying and detracts from a "published" piece if it hasn't been subbed. I don't think it's super important, but as I noticed them I thought I might as well mention them. It actually improves a piece when you correct them, and it isn't exactly difficult to do! You're more than welcome to point out typos in any of my stories, or even my forum contributions (which I must admit I seldom read through before pressing "submit".

Damn! I didn't close that last set of brackets, did I?

'well-readable' ?

(exits quickly before spotted)

Hi Sirat,

If you disagree with me then so do I. I create so many typos myself that when I read through my own work, which I hardly ever do, I'm embarrassed.

I, too, have pointed out a writer's typos (because I'd appreciate being told myself), but only on private e-mail.

In my last contribution to this thread I wrote, "Me more most," instead of, "Me more than most."

Good to hear from you, man.

My view is that threads are informal but presenting work on the site is like publishing. Sure, we can recognise a masterpiece in the raw, but polish it up and put it in a nice frame and you honour your audience with respect, and earn the right for attention.