Message from Stan

Take your time and come back whole Stan.

Shep

I hope you have a speedy defrazzlement Stan- it sounds horrible. take care and come back soon xx

Stan, sorry to hear you're having these issues. It sounds really, really crap. I hope you manage to resolve it soon and come back kicking.

Take Care Stan: While the weather's nice try and get out for a bit in the afternoons if you can. Being in the house and trying to catch up with sleep if the noise is driving you nuts won't help. Also you could try a mediation service, most councils have one. they will bring both sides together where you can put your side across in a clear and controlled way.... or you could just shoot the noisy bastards.

Take care Stan.

Rob's been away too long, as well.

Stan,

I am sorry to hear you are having neighbour troubles. I know that can be horrible as one of my daughters had trouble with a neighbour.

If you are also losing sleep that won't make you feel any better. If things get too bad I live in a quiet part of the country and we have a spare room so you could catch up on some sleep if nothing else. So think on, Stan My Man you would be most welcome.

Moya

Failing all else do as Sooz suggests and shoot the bastards! Only jesting! Best not!

My thoughts are with you, mate, I've been there and got the bloody t shirt. A long time ago I lived on a council estate and I had a neighbour whose dog barked all day and all night long, every night. I did all the right things, I complained to the neighbour nicely, then not so nicely, then made an official complaint to the council, but nothing constructive was ever done. The council dished out numerous warnings, which were heeded for a few days and then ignored, and I came to the conclusion that officials are just stuffed shirts who don't care anywhere near as much about the plight of others as they should.

One morning at about five am, while getting ready for work and feeling completely shattered, I mixed a tin of sardines with some weed killer and chucked it over the wall. Immediately I was overcome with guilt, and I jumped over and scraped the mess up. I hated that dog so much, but it wasn't the dog's fault.

It could have been a damned sight worse, though, because what I really wanted to do was beat the living daylights out of the animal's smarmy owner with unprecedented brutality - that would have been most satisfying until, obviously, the horror of my actions eventually dawned on me..... I was so ashamed with myself, I really don't know what I was thinking, but this is what stress and lack of sleep can drive you to.

Look after you and yours, chap, and bugger everybody else. Get away from the eye of the storm for a few days if you can. But most important of all, try not to do anything you'll regret.

The only bright side to look forward to is that the damned nuisance will eventually blow over, they always do sooner or later. My neighbours eventually left, and they were replaced with a family that were definitely no angels, but at least their iniquities were within bearable limits. The day will come when you can dissect the episode in peace and extract choice snippets to enrich your writing.

Hi Mate, don't let the bastards get you down, Sooz's second suggestion gets my vote!

Hi Stan,

I know what this situation is like and I feel for
you, hope things get resolved soon.

Look forward to your return.

Jenny.

All the best Stan hope it gets better.

Thinking of you too Stan. Was wondering where you were. Take care.

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and wishes. I hesitated about posting anything because I don't like to go on about my problems, but anyway...

It's truly horrendous here. It's not good for most of the year, but with the recent hot weather it's gotten far worse. The problem is 3-fold:

* I live opposite the town's major seafront car park, and it's the nightly congregating point for the local 'boy racers'. They're often there into the early hours, beeping, shouting, playing loud music, donutting, etc. People have been campaigning for years, to no avail. It's a long, long story involving many departments and bods at the council and the police. Recently, I've been woken up as late as 3 am. I call the police, but there's little they can really do when they arrive. My latest strategies include getting up a petition and making nightly films of the activities to show to the council and police. It's working... pressure is slowly building. But meantime, it's exhausting.

* I live above a pizza take-away/delivery place which I would quite happily firebomb without compunction. They're open until 3 am, and their drivers stand around in the street at night shouting, slamming doors, revving engines, etc. I (and several other neighbours) have been down there several times to complain. We get apologies and a brief respite - and then it starts again. Last time I complained, the manager suggested I should move! These are the kinds of human sludge you're dealing with. They're about to be the subject of a licensing review, instigated by myself, so we'll see where that leads.

* I live next door to a pub that has loud music nights every weekend. Need I go on?

I've tried all sorts of things. Sound insulation, ear plugs, sound conditioners. I sometimes sleep on the kitchen floor to escape it. Whenever I go to bed, though, I have the constant expectation of being woken up... which means I can't sleep anyway. I'm honestly zonked. I'd move if I could, but because I'm not working at the moment no landlord or agency will even look at me - despite excellent references and credit history.

So... it's put up and shut up. Which I will, now...

Thanks again, everyone. Hope to be back soon.

PS - here's a quick glimpse of the average night...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ken1nYDjsvc

I hope all your troubles are soon behind you, Sid. Best wishes to you.

Rich

Stan, watched the vid. Wankers is all I can say, it's times like these that you want the rain and bad weather to come back then perhaps they'd go somewhere else.

On the plus side, lovely view!

I had a "friend" Stan that lived on Southend seafront for about six months, he was inbetween marriages!

Anyway he had a similar problem, he and another couple of neighbours took it upon themselves ( very naughty) to sprinkle tacks ( little nails) in the car park opposite at around ten oclock, knowing that the cars always came in after the pubs shut at around 11.00 ish. On the first night 3 got punctures which they had to sort out and a couple had to call out the AA because they never had a spare tyre. Now I'm not condoning this of course because it's very naughty, but after a few weeks they stopped going to that place!

As I say, it was a "friend" and I certainly wouldn't condone it!

That's a brilliant idea, jolono. I would condone that - I'd get my arse down the pound shops Stan, and see what you can rustle up for a few quid.

Hi mate...

Thanks for those words of support. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way - I wished it did. They are there, winter and summer. They especially like it when it's raining because it makes a better skid-pan. Even when it snowed, they came - for obvious reasons. The problem, too, is that they start to arrive at around 6.30 pm, when other people are using the car park. They're then often there until the early hours. They do race off and come back again, but never all at once, so you'd never be able to do anything like that without either being seen or risking causing punctures to innocent people.

I've told the police that, if nothing is done soon, someone WILL take the law into their own hands. Then, of course, action will be taken. So... why does it always have to wait until some poor sod snaps before anything gets done? That's the way it is, it seems.

Thats some completely baffling human behavior. Just completely pointless. I hope you stop em Stan. That view is worth fighting for!

I can't see why the council can't have a little sympathy with the residents and close the car park off at night. I'd still scatter tacks, by the way, I'd get the bastards one way or another - I'd pretend to be walking the dog, and if you haven't got one, borrow one.

I had a visit from EH today. Not good. She tried to make it seem like all these noises are pretty normal. Oh yes... like boy racers screeching around and beeping all evening, take-away drivers shouting in the street and slamming doors until the early hours. Maybe it is all normal now in anti-social, no respect, couldn't give a shit Britain. I've just about had enough of it. I can't move from here, I can't find work. I'm close to just giving up with it. I don't know what else I can do.

Hang in there Stan.

This is more than just noise nuisance, it's debilitating. While I was nursing I had clients in a similar situation. You can't just sit back and slip further into depression. I'm afraid you need to sacrifice the view for a decent night's sleep and you're never going to get it in a drinker's playground. I helped a lady get rehoused and my advice is this, get to your doctor once a week, (regardless of whether you feel you need to see one or not) the reason being, every visit is documented. He will write more than just a letter, if your condition lasts longer than six weeks (and it will because circumstances aren't going to change) he is obligated to write a full report. If he prescribes medication that you don't feel you need, you don't have to take it, but you must fill the prescription. Apply to the council for re-homing if you haven't already and hound them twice a week, every week. You are allowed to turn down two properties if they don't meet your requirements, but you must take the third. Your very best option for council or housing association housing is with your doctor's backing, it makes a hell of a difference. My lady in question was re homed in a lovely flat within thee months.

Also a lot of private landlords these days actually prefer DSS because they know that they are going to get their money and realise they have to wait for it. If they won't wait there is a scheme called DIGS that will act as a bond for your deposit.

Also, try citizen's advice, they carry more clout than many people realise. And, as much as the bastards didn't do me any good when I was in care as a child, and despite their bad press if you are using Social Services as a weapon, they can, if they get off their arses, do some good, as well.

The only downside is that it's going to take effort from you and if you're absolutely knackered you won't feel like trudging to the docs or CAB or SS, but it will be worth it in the end. You need to get out of there, love.

As you are already doing, keep a diary. Document everything. List dates, times, what's said, other's disturbances and make sure you leave nothing out.

You're probably three steps ahead of me and have already done most of these things, but something might help.

Stan I am so sorry to see that you are being brought down by all of this. Sooz has given you very good advice. That is just what my Mum would have done and by Christ they would have listened. Also my offer still stands if you need some sleep. I do mean it.

I've always got people staying so it would be no bother. Please give it some thought.

Moya

Thanks Sooz and Moya.

Sooz... my experience with landlords and agencies is quite the opposite, I'm afraid. All agencies around here stipulate either 'No DSS' or 'No Housing Benefit'... and the same seems to be the case with the private small ads. One landlady whose flat I saw was quite generous, not even wanting an up-front deposit - just a month's rent in advance. She insisted on a work reference, though. I'm doing voluntary in lieu of paid work... but that wasn't enough. She wanted evidence of paid income. My spotless credit history wasn't enough. The problem is, there's a seller's market in renting at the moment, and they can afford to be choosy. The really stupid and unfair thing, as I might have already said, is that my neighbours across the landing - both of whom were working full-time - were recently evicted for rent arrears. I will, as you say, go to the CAB, though. I have an extensive video diary, compiled with my trusty little camcorder, and all the 'right' people have seen the footage and agreed that it's all unacceptable. But nothing ever gets done. It's a war of attrition, I think. They wait and wait - until the complainants are so worn down that they move. And then they stop doing the nothing they're already doing and wait for the new person to go down the same route.

Moya - thank you. I really do appreciate your offer and will keep it in mind. :) I'm developing strategies all the time. I'm currently doing a drastic downsize, which'll give me a bit more flexibility with a move. Pretty soon, I'll be able to fit in a garden shed somewhere!

new Stan
I replied don't know where comment went?
Sorry hear facing different things.
Yep! been there too. Sign of the time now
sometimes! Good get out,shop or coffee,walk
seafront good views. People.
We when children used have a neighbour,have a log,
business kind off,Sunday saw the logs throw them against iron fence. Nobody bothered then!
So much changed now,priorities.
The world can be,open your mouth,wrong! or helping
someone so far! so let them get on with it then!
hope feel brighter soon! One cannot argue about much now! who when or why! not easy give right,answer all. Children,animals,life! try say something nice,I do not always answer! people like good morning,Hi! some can't stop,answer emails,strange world. Families can do all! back off!
But be there,who family friends etc;if needed.
julie.

How you gettin on, Stan ??

Denise xx

Yes, I would also like to know.

I'm okay, thanks folks. Moving at the end of September. A smaller place, but in a quieter area, which is the main thing.

Thanks again for asking :)

Oh good news then Stan - and not much longer to go. Very glad for you!

Excellent!

I am so pleased and relieved for you.

Moya

Good to hear, Stan, we'll be moving at the same time. Enjoy your new abode!