FTSE100 is God

FTSE100 is God and only me and Fat Dwarf has realised. We must stop him before children get hurt. Fat Dwarf is too scared so I have to warn you myself. It's FTSE100. He is God. And he's Archie Macjoyce.

ItsSteveDave | July 30, 2012 - 15:58

I'm almost certain that any oddity or anomaly on this site has, to varying extents, been something to do with FTSE. Somehow I feel I've said too much, Mr. Pig - if that is your real name...

Archie_Macjoyce | July 30, 2012 - 16:17

I am Ketamine and Butlins and Communism and God. And FTSE.

marvin the pig | July 30, 2012 - 16:21

All right, so I'm a Territorial Pig, I just like to dress up at weekends. Where's the harm in that? Now they're going to send me to grub for roots in Afghanistan. I thought it was all just a game but they say I've accepted the Queen's potato peelings and now I have to go.

Before I go I want to put a stop to FTSE. We're here to write, not to have fun. Writing is serious.

White Dwarf | July 30, 2012 - 16:25

Fat Dwarf ought to be scared. Every time he posts a comment near FTSE it mysteriously disappears.

ItsSteveDave | July 30, 2012 - 16:38

So is FTSE everyone then? That would be terrifying and brilliant in a manaical evil genius kind of way.

lenchenelf | July 30, 2012 - 16:53

Tell-tale signs are a white cat and henchman named Stilleto...

Fat Dwarf | July 30, 2012 - 16:55

Every night I dream I'm FTSE. Sometimes I wake up to find it's true. Last time I mentioned his name I was abducted by aliens and probed for hours. His spies are everywhere.

Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again. FTSE was there. "The dwarf community is getting out of hand," he snarled menacingly. "Got a lawnmower, have you? Lawnmowers disappear. Happens all the time."

In the morning I found he'd taken my lawn and replaced it with a mowed one.

I am sore afraid. Yea, though I walk in the path of righteousness, still I fear I might become FTSE.

jolono | July 30, 2012 - 17:06

I'm Sparticus!

mouffette | July 30, 2012 - 17:32

There's a bit of FTSE in all of us. Embrace your inner FTSE. When you've finished, read my stories. They're better than his. :)

alibob | July 30, 2012 - 20:38

I'm actually a bit scared!!!....

nobody | July 31, 2012 - 04:17

How do you think I feel?

pepsoid | July 31, 2012 - 07:04

FTSE isn't me... is he?

I'm not sure!

Oh God... :/

(no not that God!)

pe
ps
oid

"the progenitor"
"the art of tea"
"that's an odd courgette"

blighters rock | July 31, 2012 - 09:55

Good to see you've come out of your shell(s), FTSE/God.
I know you're only having a bit of fun but Paul's the one I like best.

Archie_Macjoyce | July 31, 2012 - 19:48

I'm Biggus.

pepsoid | August 1, 2012 - 08:46

ItsSteveDave | August 1, 2012 - 09:40

I'm biggust

lenchenelf | August 1, 2012 - 11:25

I'm not Biggus and it's bloody good thing that he's got a sense of humour.

FTSE100 | August 1, 2012 - 11:33

Has FTSE got a sense of humour? Has God?

Why can people claim to be FTSE but not Biggus???

lenchenelf | August 1, 2012 - 12:01

Past posts would suggest that Ftse100 does, indeed, have a good sense of humour :-0)

Archie_Macjoyce | August 1, 2012 - 14:21

Past decades, centuries and millennia would suggest that God has a sick sense of humour.

Depeche Mode agree with me on this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-__VV94ziiQ

pepsoid | August 2, 2012 - 06:38

Jaws (not verified) | August 2, 2012 - 07:02

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen,
But everyone knows the trouble I've caused.

Wimbledon Tennis Jr.