Is it considered bad sportsmanship to start shooting the citizens of a country without warning them first? It seems a bit silly to declare war if you don't have to - you lose the element of surprise.
If I wanted to have a war with the Isle of Wight, I'd go there with my soldiers and, when nobody expected it, just start shooting. I'd only tell them afterwards that it was a war.
But maybe, if you don't decalre it first, it doesn't count and you'd have to fight another?
Sorry, I'm new to the human race and just trying to understand your ways. How do I get comments on my shirts? Should I comment on other people's?
The Walrus | August 6, 2012 - 01:53
If you invaded the Isle of Wight without telling anyone and shot everybody, and then someone from another country complained that you had to do it all over again because the war was against the regulations of conflict, who would you slaughter during your next assault? The sheep? The seagulls? The tourists, perhaps?
As for the shirt issue, I really don't know. If you wandered around the Isle of Wight shortly before you planned to shoot everyone saying "That's a really really really nice shirt" you'd probably be arrested by the Isle of Wight resident policeman before you got a chance to open fire. And even if you didn't get arrested, like if the copper let you off with a fine or a written warning not to comment on shirts ever again or something, I doubt if anyone would say "Ooh cheers, honey, I rather like your shirt too."
The Walrus | August 6, 2012 - 01:56
Furthermore, if you didn't like the shirts you chose to comment on and you said "That's a really shit shirt you're wearing, you tasteless little wank stain," you'd probably get arrested anyway. Or shot, if you were in Birmingham.
White Dwarf | August 6, 2012 - 05:44
Oh, what you need is a Police Action.
Police Action is fantastic, none of those pansy geneva convention regs.
Stan | August 6, 2012 - 08:33
I know a printer who'll put comments on shirts. Things like 'This is my favourite shirt' or 'Hey... I care' or 'Out of my way, motherfucker'.
Could you technically be regarded as declaring war, or going to war, if the side you attacked didn't retaliate? I think the IOW is a pretty docile and peaceful nation, without its own military. Plus, it's sole contribution to the world seems to be little glass lighthouse ornaments full of different coloured sands. On the map, it looks like an egg being nestled by the mother hen of the British mainland. Or a bomb being dropped. Or a lonely turd, floating in the sea.
The Walrus | August 6, 2012 - 14:20
Naah, Stan, that's what they want you to think, because they're secretly planning to raid the mainland, execute everyone too young or old to be a shepherd or tend turnip fields and establish a radical neo-nazi sheep bartering economy. They're all suicide bombing bastards and they need destroying ASAP. Those little glass lighthouses explode when you least expect, filling your eyes with white hot multicolored sand. Nuke the bastards when the wind is blowing southwards, I say.....
Stan | August 6, 2012 - 19:03
Zounds! When you put it like that... we're surrounded! The Daft Isles at the toe, off Cornwall... The Isle of Man, Bardsey and Arran up in the midriff... Shetland and the Orkneys around the head... Sheppey down in the nuts... and then that great green thing floating off in the sea behind us. If they all attack together, we're lost.
Archie... you're not leading them all, are you?
Now I know who you are, Walrus... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDOJ4L0Edk
The Walrus | August 6, 2012 - 19:48
Can I warn my nephew in the Shetlands, or should we just kill him too? I'm not sure if he's on the enemy side or not.
The Walrus | August 6, 2012 - 19:54
That wasn't me, Stan, though I admit people often tell me to shut the fuck up just for saying "I am the walrus."