Bestiality

Hedgehogs don't make out face to face, it's a myth. I believe whales and dolphins do it side by side, which is why they have unfeasibly long penises, and snakes wrap around each other in a big tangle. Apparently most apes mate from back-a-hind doggie style, but chimps and bonoboes are more experimental and sometimes do it face to face.

I think the black widow spider has the most civilized mating habits

I do it by email.

The safest, most hygienic way, of course, is to have sex in separate rooms. Or preferably separate houses. In wetsuits.

I was just now pondering on a big blue hole in the cloud and, much to my shame, wondering,if other animals are at it all the time, like rabbits, why is it that there's a scarcity of them. Other animals that is. Perhaps they're not. Or maybe they have some inbuilt contraceptive system that works, ie. unless they really fancy and respect someone else, they don't conceive.

'survival of the species'. That's a load of propagandist bollocks, isn't it?

Uh, interesting question...but I don't know. You probably think I'm really unhelpful.

Oh FTSE 100,

So it's you blocking up by Inbox. I did wonder...

I've had to change my hotmail account to Hot Male account.

Mine's remaining a hot mail account, but that's because I'm a medieval armor fetishist.

What are you all talking about?

Nothing. Honestly.....