The Olympics are to close after a run of just two weeks. Dreams that they would transfer to the West End are now in tatters. From the start they have been beset by problems - casting errors, badly written scripts, poor set design. The producers have now decided to cut their losses and the games will end tomorrow.
"People on roller skates pretending to be a train was bad enough," said one critic, "but this is just a lot of people running about without pretending to be anything. They don't even sing."
On the bright side, a revival of Phantom of Mama Mia will be put on in its place.
Highhat | August 12, 2012 - 11:00
Thank goodness ! What a relief! I'll see the revival...
rjnewlyn | August 12, 2012 - 14:39
And they didn't even bother to arrange a tie-in TV show where the public could allocate the gold medals to the participants who cried the most. Still, I do feel it's been such a journey for all of us ...
The Walrus | August 12, 2012 - 20:11
I cried an awful lot yesterday because I couldn't watch Malcolm In The Middle because everyone else in the house insisted on watching a bunch of blokes running some fool relay race. Everyone shouted at me and called me a spoilsport when I said "They're all morons - why doesn't some bright spark run in a straight line instead of running in an arc following those daft white lines? Especially the White Supremacist team, who always come last. Maybe if they take their camouflage gear and body armor and bandoliers off and run cunning they might have a chance of beating the black athletes for once. Maybe....."
My family then watched a different bunch of blokes jumping off a diving board, performing a lot of what looked like completely pointless wriggles in the air and landing in the water. The Chinese bloke pulled some really funny faces while he wriggled, which I have to admit made me snigger. No one seemed to think that his facial expressions were important, but I would have given him extra points - he was fucking brilliant.
This went on for several hours. I cried even more when I suggested that the water in the Olympic swimming pool should be a foot deep and full of piranhas to make it slightly more interesting, and no one thought it was remotely funny. Worst of all, I only got a sodding bronze, so I cried a bit more.