Wife Swop

I've known many Travellers over the years, and can echo Fish's words that they always offer a warm welcome in their homes. Several years ago I spent Christmas Day with a Romany friend who runs the jockey scales on Boscombe Beach because I wasn't going home to my own family for Christmas. Only recently, a local Travellor has asked me to write her life story. It's certainly a tale worth telling, and if I can find the hook I may well take up the offer on behalf of her community. The story's are great. I just need for them to go somewhere. (Eddie, it was only a joke. Lighten up).

Best telly for ages. I loved it. Even ranted about it at length in my diary. Wayne wsn't a bad bloke really, I couldn't stand Lance the arrogant git but sonia was lovely. waynetta. "U've never grounded my kids in their life ...." and later "you're going to be grounded in a minute" I'd like to have seen what changes were made three weeks say later. Can't wait for the next one .. but have I missed an episode? Paul said something about a second one.

Waynetta to her new 'husband' "You are like Hitler.....and Hitler died" (what?) Waynetta on her 'husband's' young boy.."he's going to grow up to be a really handsome black man" (not just man then) On her new 'husband' ..."he doesn't like white people." Hmm, maybe it's just you..... I actually felt sorry for her in the end, because I think she really knew what a slob she was and actually told her kid (when it had all ended and she was home), "you are going to be grounded," when earlier, she had an argument with the new 'husband' about grounding his kid and said that she would never do this. It was almost like she was trying to emulate him in some way, possibly without realising it. Waynetta's eldest daughter....a mirror image of Waynetta. 18 going on 12. Incredible. As for the Gypsy debate........"maybe" they piss on people's property due to years of not being accepted, or maybe they haven't been accepted for years due to pissing on people's property. I know what the popular view is.

Eddie Gibbons, is that you hiding behind the Employed Scouser pseudonym? Are you actually a scouser? I, myself, am a Liverpudlian by birth and upbringing - and I'd probably wanna give Karl a slap were it not for the fact that I think the place is a shithole with nothing going for it. I've lived and worked a while in here Manchester, and I can honestly say I'd be highly reluctant to live in any other city. Even (shock) London!

Karl, I got the joke and found it entirely inoffensive. My reply is what passes for humour in Greaternorthofwatford. Well, in Stevie Gerrard's house, anyway. I will however endeavour to emulate you own short. light and witty postings in future. Here's my first attempt... Liverpool boss Gerard Houllier was pulled over by police at lunchtime today on the way back from training. He was caught doing 85 mph in a 30 zone going past a primary school. When questioned by the police he replied that he was desperate for the 3 points.

Eddie, you're a kopite! I used to have such respect for you. Roonaldoooo!

I live in Hackney and I point blank refuse to go and live with Tony Blair ...and no matter what trangressions my husband has comitted, nothing would warrant two weeks of Cherie...or would it? Honey...it's pay back time

Paul - Sad but true. I first parked my @!#$ on the Kop in 1959. That's before Bill Shankly got there. Yes, I am old. Rooney is definitely ugly enough to be the new Ronaldo. He's also a lifetime Everton supporter. Ugly + Evertonian = he MUST move to Anfield.

Someones gotta be first with the sexist jokes so it may as well be me. Not for sexual purposes Karl? That means it's just the same as living with ones own wife then! What's the point?

I haven't seen the last part yet - taped and watched 1st part at girlfriends, see 2nd half tomorrow. Had to do some quick ah-i'm-not-looking scrolling there! I won't deny it was enjoyable; but how cynical and lowest common denominator are these reality TV producers going to stoop - "Right, we've found a black couple. Now we just need a couple who don't like black people. MegaTVfest!" The chalk and cheese thing would have worked fine; knowing the woman was an unreconstructed racist came close to making it unwatchable. Of course, I can't wait for tomorrow's installment!

I agree, Paul. It kind of reminded me of Blind Date, when one of the guys says he's a body builder but dislikes blondes and a gorgeous blonde comes in who's looking for a body builder type. Do you ever watch that programme about training someone to be a surfer or bouncer or hair stylist or whatever, and then they've got to see if they can get away with it in front of a bunch or real surfers, bouncers etc. They always pick the least likely type of Pygmalion-character to test their skills out on. I'd like to see them try and train someone up to fool a site full of Gypsy travellers into believing he's a Trav himself when he's really a public schoolboy or something. Now that would be a challenge.

Unfortunately, you're spot on. That's why I disagree with all this "let's save him" mentality. I say burn the f**ker out so he's crap by the time he comes to you in a couple of years.

Maybe that's what they should call it. BTW, the word is "swap" not "swop" unless I am way off base. Is this on UK TV? Supposedly there's a show in the US that takes place in a Nevada brothel. They don't show the naughty bits (nudge nudge wink wink), but they show the customers and ladies negotiating and shooting the breeze. Sounds a little boring to me.

I thought the word was "swap" in America and "swop" in England. But I've a feeling this programme is called Wife Swap, the American way.

Karl, you're talking about "faking it" which is very hit and miss, but produced one of the best documentaries of recent times: the stiff, socially awkward student cellist becoming a banging club DJ with attitude. Here, we saw less "faking" and more transgression of character; which can't help but appeal to my poetic side.

The rum thing about that is that most DJ's are 'faking it' anyway.

i only saw one of those, the one where a singer from a band (presumably punk as he had a red mohican) took part in a competition as a conductor leading the (i think) philharmonic was great, i loved it. i dont get out much.

I would far rather see decent documentaries made by proper journalists than all this hit and miss social insight stuff! Having said that, I did enjoy some of the Faking It' series. The punk singer who couldn't read music becoming a conductor in 4 weeks was a gem, as was the club pole dancer who became a show jumper. both showed worlds colliding and that's always fun!

Remember the sheep-shearer turned hairdresser ?

How about having a garage owner/mechanic turned honest businessman. Or is that stretching things too much?

Or Scouser turned Employee?

Or seriel killer turned police dedective?

The way things are going, I don't think he'll ever be crap enough to join us.

And going back to Wife Swop, here's a good one. For the next series we could have Cherie Blair trading places with a wife & mum from Hackney.

How about Cherie Blair and Christina Hamilton trading places?

...or Anne Widdecombe 'doing' for Ali G. The mind boggles.

wife swap was the type of compulsive squirm making watching that makes me laugh hysterically ... middle son and i were glued to it and shrieking with laughter ... he commented i had better not swap with anyone ... further to the gypsy/traveller question ... this does raise my ire ... you might or might not know that i work with gypsy romas and travellers and i was involved in a full scale argument last night at evening class about them ... the class were discussing racism (all nice white middle class women with an asian tutor) and the whole thing erupted when i suggested to them that the last acceptable form of racism was against gypsy romas/travellers ... they proved my point by loudly citing reasons why these people are horrible unpleasant disrespectful etc. etc. they didn't take kindly to me saying "well girls, it appears you are all racists" ... there was a lot of huffing and bosom rearranging in the room ... travellers generally are not accorded any status as an ethnic minority group ... which they are in my opinion ... they are routinely legislated against in many ways with draconian measures enforced by the police ... their lifestyles and values are not accepted in their differences as other minority ethnic groups' are ... and their anti-social behaviour (which could perhaps result from hundreds of years of persecution) is always held up as a reason for their social exclusion which seems to be accepted by society at large ... recently in the house of commons an M.P. referred to travellers as "scum who didn't deserve human rights" ... imagine the outrage if he had said this about any other group of people ... so your question karl, whilst i expect was posed in humour really equates to asking if someone could pass themselves off as a member of another minority ethnic group ...

We've had gypsies round this area, and they do leave a massive wake of s.hit behind them, literally and metaphorically. People I know have been threatened in the street by travellers. But as ever, no solution whatsoever lies in the 'do something about these scum' attitude, and it's a sign of a weakness in principles and integrity when people revert to this defunct and offensive philosophy.

'Bosom rearranging' lololol I'm still laughing at that Alison, it conjures up visions of Les Dawson doing his head scarf and lipstick thing. It always made me hysterical because I knew a woman like that who was always nudging her bumpers. I'd never given this a lot of thought, or in fact any, until James brought up the spelling of 'swap' but having just checked my Oxford Dic. it appears either spelling is quite acceptable as both are listed. So there you are guys, you're BOTH rong!

I said this.. when a huge posse of travellers came to skeg for a wedding in 2000... soooo much bad attitude around, tsk tsk said i..... i ranted at people who foresaw doom. what you are doing, said i... is making the behaviour happen.... two days later over new year, the entire town closed down. people were thieving hundreds of pounds of equipment out of shops, whilst shopkeepers and police stood helplessly by.. cant be accused of harrassiment said the local inspector...they broke into my mums business to hook up electricity to their vans... another took a @!#$ in my friends bar... some others smashed all the huge mirrors and windows outside with iron bars... i saw someone taking a piss in front of a family on the seafront... anyway, the town closed. whether this behaviour was as a result of expected behaviour being played out, normal behaviour or aggressive retaliatory behaviour, i dont know. what i DO know is that attitudes wont get any better whilst this still goes on, and I felt like a twat for sticking my neck out and disapproving in the first place...

Well done Fish, am proud of you. I remember an old thread where we tried to flesh out this 'racism' thing and I think we decided that in this day and age it was getting far more complex than the black/brown/white/yellow thing of old. Unfortunately missed the Wife Swop thing... damn. This sort of program amounts to a sort of education of sorts I think for people who have little or no conception of how other people live their lives... too much blinkered by their own (something we are all guilty of to an extent... I hasten to add) However did see the 'faking it' that Li allured to - Punk Rocker to Conductor and it was a poignant, uplifting program but for some reason seemingly to me, ended on a little sad note on the parting comment of the Punk Rocker... (back to his old life etc). I had higher hopes for him.

I can understand people getting grouchy and saying things in the heat of a bad situation, and I thoroughly expect gypsies to behave atrociously. Where I draw the line is when people are pious and preachy about it ("*someone* should do something",) and any serious suggestion that aggression or revenge or mass Draconian measures are a long-term answer.

that is a dreadful tale liana ... and because i know you i know it is true ... and it is an extreme and personal example ... i don't condone the behaviour or excuse it... and i feel we are a long way from any kind of solution ... but it is not right to judge an entire ethnic group by the behaviour of some members of it ... as a society we have made huge strides in the last 50 years and attitudes against other races have changed enormously ... and i can only hope that things will change in regard to travellers ... i dont think any of the behaviour described is acceptable at all ... but i do try and understand why it has arisen ... why a group of people feeling so excluded for so long might feel they are right not to respect the laws and social values of a society which so openly rejects them ... it's a very difficult issue ... to hen i would say ... yes there is lot of rubbish left by travellers on unauthorised sites ... but evidence has shown that when local authorities negotiate with travellers, provide stopping places and properly service settled sites these issues don't arise ... i work on two huge settled sites and both the site and the individual plots are not covered in rubbish ... i also know of people who have been threatened by travellers in the street ... i know people who have been threatened and mugged by non travellers ... perhaps there are shoplifting and theiving travellers ... but we don't let the shoplifters and thieves of our own society define us ...in the prison i work in the vast majority of inmates are white british men but i don't see all white british men as murderers ... and i am somehow reminded of a ad campaign for the police not so long ago which had a uniformed policeman chasing a black man chasing a white man ... this surely played on people's remaining predjudices ... the black man it turned out was a plain clothes officer and not an escaping offender as it turned out ... my own experience is the only thing i can speak of with real authority and i have always been welcomed warmly by traveller families ... there has to be something that can be done about predjudice and anti social behaviour that happens in both directions ... solutions are a long way off as i say but i have to believe that what i am doing goes some small way towards it ... and i don't think you should feel a twat for sticking your neck out liana ... but then i have to do it every day so i would say that ...

How about swapping a Wiggins with a baseball bat? god, my spelling's all to Kop.... I meant 'swatting'.