Why?

From an e-mail received today. Most of them are oldies: EVER WONDER... why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? why "abbreviated" is such a long word? why doctors call what they do "practice"? why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons? why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food? who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour? why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box? why sheep don't shrink when it rains? why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

Carrots improve eyesight. Eating fish makes you smarter. The moon is made of green cheese. Never heard of the silk thing, though. Maybe it's like having a framed college degree on the wall. It doesn't change you, but it might change the way other people think about you... provided they buy the basic premise.

By the silk thing I meant a tie. "Smart" meant smarter in appearance as opposed to intelect. Or are you being sufecious?

Dunno why that didn't work try this http://www.robotwisdom.com/flaubert/bouvard/idees.html that teach me not to try to be so clever

LOL. Karl, it must have been too late at night. I thought you were referring to some obscure superstition. Never thought of a tie. Oh well.

I hate fish, but I have tartare sauce on everything. Lovely with a roast. and cheese toasties.

I quite like fish, although she can be very stern at times. *places tin helmet on head, dives into bunker*

I agree the idea of a strip of fabric making someone look instantly respectable is ludicrous, to the point of being a superstition. I suppose a female version of this is not wearing a bra in certain situations and it looking obvious. Like women swan around topless on the beach all day , but in the evening they wouldn't be allowed into the hotel disco wearing just a skirt. In Italy there are strict conventions about pasta . The squiggly and the tubular are made from the same ingredients but you never get the squiggly served with tuna, or maybe it's the other way round.

Yes I remember eye rolls I used to get at this Pasta house in Soho (now sadly closed)... I used to delioght in running my finger down the list of pastas and then selecting arbitrarily from another list of sauces.. much to the disapproval of the proprietor... I was going to argue the merits of the Tie... but as a result of the last post I am now a convert.... Man and women of the World Unite! Lets throw down our respective Ties and Bra's, burn them in the streets and free ourselves from these ludicrous superstitions... Anyone else care to join me in this cause?

I'll have a buttered eye roll with my soup please. And I know butter isn't strictly correct.

my partner has horseradish on lamb.. we got really frowned upon at a posh hotel once when he asked for it.

And another thing............. who makes the rules of etiquette for ( male ) public showers? I have joined a local gym, after many years of inactivity, and the same rules seem to apply to shower room behaviour as when I played rugby back in the 80s: On a first visit to the showers in question, it is permissable to get bollock naked in front of complete strangers, as long as no conversation is involved. No eye contact should be made, and the area should be vacated as soon as possible. On a second or third visit, bollock nakedness is still permissable, and a brief nod of acknowledgement to other attendees may be made. On fourth and fifth visits, brief conversational gambits are allowable, but only in the form " this water's fuckin 'ot / cold / freezin". There must be no eye - groin contact, but further conversation may be made when partially dressed. On subsequent visits full conversation may be entered into with any other attendee, and in the case of team events, genitalia may be whacked with soap-on -a-rope, in a jocular manner. No reference should EVER be made to soft furnishings or recipes.

And why are Yorkshire puddings only served with beef when they are obviously the best part of the roast?

I have yorkie pud with everything!

EVERYTHING, Missus?

Especially pork Andrea!