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With luck and a strong wind Comic poems the first of which is

A Dish Best Served Cold

An Abandoned Woman’s Lament!

I am an abandoned woman you see!
In a painful literal sense, that’s me
He’s just upped and gone is the cruel truth
Because I’ve been told he’s gone off with Ruth?

Twenty-five years then ups and leaves
So while I trusted he deceives
With a slip of a girl half his age
And I am left in a terrible rage

Should’ve guessed soon as I noticed the change
But at the time washing more often didn’t seem strange
Soap, water and him had never been on friendly terms!
To my mind, his body was a breeding ground for germs

Then, it was clean socks and then CLEAN UNDIES!
Something he’d only ever done on Sundays!
So you see…all the clues were there
But I was blissfully unaware

“Are they Calvin Klein’s?” I enquired tight lipped
Because it had been some time since I’d seen him stripped.
At his age with all his dangly bits restricted like that
What if they were to drop off and land on the cat?

Well Ruth used to be Captain of the Ladies Cricket Team
Before Husband stealing became her currently favoured scheme
So if she failed to catch ‘em she would think it a fix
Though I would prefer it if she batted his balls to the boundary for six!

Then at least I would gain some small satisfaction
Because I readily admit the idea holds some attraction
I don’t see why they should get away with hurting me?
But I want something more than that… now just let me see…

I know…although I’ve heard revenge is a dish best served cold
It won’t stop me grabbing the trollop in a gentle asphyxiating hold!
And visitors and friends to the house will not need to put on their spectacles
Because they’ll see quite clearly the glass jar where we now keep his testicles!

Stories in this set

"Fed Up?" No? Read This and You Soon Will Be!

First published on May 28, 2012 - 09:44  | 203 reads

"OR"

First published on February 1, 2012 - 09:28  | 183 reads

'If' from an idea by Kipling and There's More!

First published on April 4, 2012 - 07:56  | 165 reads

A Dish Best Served Cold

First published on December 15, 2011 - 05:54  | 356 reads

A Friendly Face

First published on December 19, 2011 - 09:11  | 238 reads

A Limerick for FTSE 100

First published on April 12, 2013 - 15:13  | 167 reads

A Short Arse! (Another late I.P)

First published on November 23, 2012 - 20:26  | 140 reads

A Tribute to Terry!

First published on July 27, 2012 - 08:16  | 259 reads

A Trilogy of connectected poems - Mozart Millais and Me! Part One Music

First published on February 6, 2013 - 09:27  | 59 reads

A Trilogy of Connected Poems Part Two Art

First published on February 6, 2013 - 09:33  | 62 reads

A Trilogy of Connected Poems Part Three The Sad Tale of Ruskin, Whistler and Millais!

First published on February 6, 2013 - 09:42  | 53 reads

Am I Who I Was Meant To Be?

First published on October 29, 2012 - 10:19  | 91 reads

Chocolate!

First published on December 30, 2011 - 17:24  | 356 reads

Come One Spring Morning!

First published on June 1, 2012 - 09:50  | 216 reads

Death is my Living!

First published on January 11, 2012 - 07:40  | 309 reads

Fuck!

First published on December 30, 2011 - 23:00  | 339 reads

Going for Gold! A Golden Wedding Celebration Poem - Updated

First published on June 14, 2012 - 21:28  | 660 reads

Heroes!

First published on December 22, 2011 - 04:53  | 232 reads

I Dreamt

First published on October 10, 2012 - 07:37  | 222 reads

I Want to Write a Poem and I Want to Write it Now!

First published on March 9, 2012 - 07:11  | 266 reads

I've got a lovely bunch of limericks ...here they are standing in a row! (I.P.)

First published on January 20, 2013 - 08:39  | 185 reads

If Dementia Comes!

First published on January 21, 2012 - 23:24  | 230 reads

In Answer to the Question "Tell Me What Love Is?"

First published on February 6, 2012 - 21:20  | 229 reads

In Search of Love (I.P.)

First published on January 21, 2012 - 23:15  | 199 reads

Infinite Sky entry three

First published on January 8, 2013 - 13:35  | 139 reads

Infinite Sky - A Face in the Clouds - entry two

First published on January 7, 2013 - 13:42  | 131 reads

Inspiration Comes With the Dawn!

First published on March 13, 2012 - 07:13  | 209 reads

Just a Rope and a Chair!

First published on October 15, 2012 - 08:13  | 123 reads

Love Waits Patient

First published on December 28, 2011 - 09:17  | 237 reads

My Child is Missing!

First published on August 22, 2012 - 07:45  | 158 reads

My Diet

First published on April 24, 2012 - 08:55  | 187 reads

My Friend Joan

First published on March 3, 2012 - 01:00  | 213 reads

One Last Breath!

First published on July 15, 2012 - 21:06  | 230 reads

Parkinson's Awareness Week - My fourth poem - Hope!

First published on April 18, 2013 - 10:00  | 42 reads

Parkinson's Awareness Week- My final poem - Friendship re-posted

First published on April 19, 2013 - 08:03  | 75 reads

Reflections On A Lost Love

First published on October 10, 2012 - 07:42  | 131 reads

SEASONS!

First published on April 15, 2013 - 07:31  | 120 reads

Selfish Husbands - I've had A Few (I. P.)

First published on August 29, 2012 - 17:01  | 175 reads

Springing to Life! (I P)

First published on April 5, 2012 - 08:33  | 176 reads

Such Nice People...Them Tax Collectors! (I.P.)

First published on May 19, 2013 - 07:45  | 52 reads

Sylvia!

First published on July 15, 2012 - 20:55  | 148 reads

The Darkened Room

First published on January 2, 2012 - 21:24  | 262 reads

The Enigma

First published on January 6, 2012 - 09:04  | 187 reads

The Flip Side!

First published on April 16, 2013 - 09:18  | 23 reads

The Funeral

First published on January 14, 2012 - 23:45  | 275 reads

The Long Goodbye A Tribute to My Mum!

First published on November 5, 2012 - 22:30  | 159 reads

The Open Door

First published on February 1, 2012 - 09:43  | 230 reads

The Pigeon Fancier! (IP)

First published on July 9, 2012 - 14:10  | 207 reads

The Sky At Night!

First published on August 8, 2012 - 07:06  | 169 reads

The Worm That Turned!

First published on November 11, 2012 - 07:15  | 135 reads

This One's For Julie!

First published on September 1, 2012 - 19:41  | 146 reads

Truth, Dare, Kiss or Promise!

First published on July 10, 2012 - 15:06  | 232 reads

Unlock the Gates

First published on October 10, 2012 - 07:30  | 92 reads

We Must Give Back!

First published on March 16, 2012 - 06:53  | 187 reads

When the Urge is Upon You!

First published on February 3, 2012 - 09:27  | 198 reads

Who Will Notice? Who Will Care?

First published on July 9, 2012 - 11:16  | 138 reads

Comments

Denzella | December 14, 2011 - 14:37

I would appreciate any comment on this. However, please note I am not some bitter, abandoned woman.I have been happily married for fifty years. It was written as a hopefully humorous comment on women that have been abandoned in favour of a younger woman.

Richard L. Prov... | June 3, 2012 - 11:01

This is quite funny, in spite of the seriousness of the situation. My wife divorced her first husband when she found out he liked too many women. Seven years later we met, and I married into a family of three children, and a year later adopted a young boy of nine. Esther and I are married 37 years now. Love is precious, and you must have the same scent of soul mate too. In this poem, I suggest you re-write it with the object of creating ideas and feelings without overtly expressing it through words. Then I will make some suggestions after---sound ok? My email is at" richardprov1@netscape.net. Cheers, Richard & Esther. PS. From your short bio, remember you are the captain of your ship and the way you wish to come across in the words you write is the correct way for you. However you did ask for some suggestions, eh?

(I made an email correction)RLP