"David’s Dad"
Iachi Da, Dafydd! Seen much of your Dad of late?
He’s sixty-five now, isn’t he, or do I exaggerate?
I can still remember the way that Harry plaited
your little sister’s pigtails like a Grecian caryatid.
I can still remember him as a jerking bantamweight
who wouldn’t punch for minutes but would circumnavigate
the boxing ring, and then, with neither eyelid batted,
early in the yawn chorus, he’d lay the fellow splatted
on the floor. It saved a lot of cauliflower ears,
asparagus bottom lips, paralysis and tears.
Do you remember when he sat you on his leather pillion
and drove us to the coast and to that field with the pavilion?
I watched, from out the sidecar on a lumpy autobahn
the festival a-glimmering around a llama farm.
I still can see that porky wasp inside the reggae tent,
turning sway to flail, to swivelling-dreadlocked discontent.
Old Harry caught it in his hands and issued it a warning.
Unhindered then, we skanked to Lee Scratch Perry till the morning.
Dave, old spatula, your Dad, he’s one in several million.
I think he must’ve lightened up the day he turned civilian.
Do you recall that holiday, when the three of us threw
stones for half an hour at a metal barbecue?
Each stone he lobbed alighted in the place where it was meant,
when most of our attempts were off, their flight-paths somewhat bent.
I hope the owners of the place were easily placated,
returning to their home to find the driveway had migrated.
“I saw my Dad last week,” you said. “He’s had a little visit
from the boys in blue for doing something quite illicit.”
I chuckled, “Silly sod! Tax embezzlement, is it?
Something fraudulent, I’ll wager. Lordy, how exquisite!
Do tell, with all of the embellishment you can afford.”
You started to explain with a slight air of filial scorn,
“A week or two ago now he got nicked,” and I guffawed
out loud, before you added, “for downloading child porn.”
Comments
sid | August 12, 2012 - 13:29
I thought this was a corker, so well put together. I always end up reading your poems several times; they seem to grow richer with each read. I did stumble over the last four lines, as the rhyme scheme changes and it threw me a bit at first. But second time around it reads quite natural, so it's probably more down to my limited intellect. Thoroughly enjoyed :)
Archie_Macjoyce | August 12, 2012 - 21:14
Why, thanks, sid. It's nice to know that some people read my poems more than once. Yes, my sudden change of rhyme-scheme at the end is awfully clever...
sid | August 12, 2012 - 21:35
Apart from that infamous 'End of Youth' of course. I read that once ;)
Archie_Macjoyce | August 12, 2012 - 21:37
So did twelve hundred other people, so thanks ;)
sid | August 13, 2012 - 08:36
Hm that was meant to be a lighthearted reference to a 'discussion' we once had involving aforementioned epic. Judging from your rather indignant retort I fear you may have taken it personally. Sorry
Archie_Macjoyce | August 13, 2012 - 09:56
No, it wasn't indignant (see semi-colon face). I was just pointing out that the aforementioned discussion seemed to help my read-count...
sid | August 13, 2012 - 11:40
Ah, I overlooked the winky face. This is a relief to me.
shoe | August 13, 2012 - 14:54
Witty! the porky wasp scene may well stay in my head for some time. (I couldn't get a translation of Iachi though,!)
Richard L. Prov... | August 13, 2012 - 15:04
Very creative work, I enjoyed your poem. Your writing is superb, like an onion with layers of colourful thoughts. Cheers. Richard LP
Archie_Macjoyce | August 13, 2012 - 16:11
Thanks for your comments chaps, that means a lot to me.
'Iachi Da' is probably the most familiar phrase in Welsh, it means 'Good health' or 'Cheers' (as in a toast).
Have you never tasted waspmeat?
shoe | August 13, 2012 - 18:13
Sadly no, I was a late developer, but it sounds delicious, is it a Walthamstow delicacy?
Durand | August 14, 2012 - 04:28
Nice structure, nice set up, nice delivery. I just may have to peruse some more of your offerings.
Durand
mikepyro | August 14, 2012 - 20:59
FINALLY. I must say I do not care for most poetry on the site. Not because it's bad, but because I want to read works that stun me with originality, something I pride myself on so dearly in my work, and I love it when another author delivers.
Your lines don't concern themselves too much with rhythm, its there, but the rhymes feel a tad forced, shuffled in.
That would be a big drawback but you fill your lines with great humor and voice and realness. They read like a recollection of times past, but a true recollection, not one imagined in a way that would impress a reader.
And of course, I love a dark humored twist. And it doesn't just have a whelp, that was a nice hardy har end, but kinda makes you want to go back and reread the piece in a new light.
It's a very nice work archie.
Archie_Macjoyce | August 15, 2012 - 19:13
Tar muchly, Mike.
The lines are mostly in iambic heptameter, although quite a few deviate from this in a slightly lazy fashion, yes, you're right. And also, yes, a few of the rhymes are quite forced, for example illicit/exquisite, jerking bantamweight/circumnavigate and especially Harry plaited/caryatid. This poem was written six years ago when I was experimenting with rhyme and some truly absurd ones were coming out. My attitude was that if Byron could do it then so could I.
I'm not 100% happy with this one, but I think it does the job, so I probably won't rewrite it any more.
And yes, shoe, all the girls in Walthamstow chew wasps.