"Morning Star Horoscopes Page, with Karl Marx"
Aries:
Your love-life has been somewhat on the back burner of late.
But don’t worry. On the fifteenth,
your libido will be totally shaken up
as the glorious workers’ revolution sweeps capitalism
into the dustbin of history,
when Saturn enters the house of Capricorn.
Taurus:
Problems at work have been troubling you recently.
You and authority don’t mix!
Hold on tight until the twenty-third, when you’ll
seize control of the means of production
and smash the chains of worldwide imperialism
that enslave humanity,
as Mars reaches the Libran descendant.
Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio,
Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces:
You are reactionary bourgeois swine.
Fuck off!
Comments
lavadis | July 29, 2012 - 11:55
I enjoyed this - very Pythonish
Archie_Macjoyce | July 29, 2012 - 13:49
Cheers, Mr Lav. Monty Python was a massive influence on me as I was growing up, as was Alexei Sayle and most 80s comedy.
I originally posted this two days ago, and over two days only ten people read it, which pissed me off, so I deleted and re-posted it, and now ten people have read it in two hours, which is a massive improvement.
I suppose the Olympics were to blame. Bah humbug...
lenchenelf | July 29, 2012 - 17:35
Tummy hurts from laughing, you ought to issue an H&S warning :) Cracking stuff xxxxxxxxxx
Archie_Macjoyce | July 29, 2012 - 18:06
Thanks, Lena. I'm reasonably pleased with this one.
jolono | July 29, 2012 - 20:59
And so you should be Archie, made me smile at first then the second bit made me smile more and then the ending had me laughing. Great stuff!
Archie_Macjoyce | July 29, 2012 - 21:10
Cheers, mate. Appreciated.
Astrologers of the world unite!
Durand | August 14, 2012 - 04:34
Heh. Chortle, even.
Durand
Archie_Macjoyce | August 15, 2012 - 19:22
Glad you liked, D.