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Devil incarnate

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Published by Beeme on April 12, 2011 - 16:02

Just because
I’m man-made;
flesh and bone;
the light in my eyes
shines unfailing…
shines as bright
as the sun;
sacrificing it’s light;
to our melting bodies;
to prolong our radiance.
And your grim-reaper hands;
constantly waiting…
for my eyes to shut;
long enough for you,
to give you chance
to shine too.
To become,
the finest candle
in our darkest hour.

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Comments

SundaysChild | April 12, 2011 - 18:28

I really like this Beeme, in particular:

And your grim-reaper hands;
constantly waiting…

shoe | April 12, 2011 - 18:37

beautiful and a bit chilling!

Silver Spun Sand | April 12, 2011 - 18:40

A very effective poem, Beeme. (By the way the its doesn't need an apostrophe)

I too liked the part about the grim-reaper hands;-)

Tina xx

MistakenMagic | April 12, 2011 - 20:37

"our melting bodies" - a delicious image and a beautiful poem :)

Magic xxx

fatboy74 | April 13, 2011 - 11:13

You have such a distinctive style Beeme and you don't waste words (like wot I does) - have you decided to self-publish or not? Some good advice given - one of the best things about ABC, plenty of people have been there and done that. :-)

rjnewlyn | April 13, 2011 - 21:03

It's very good, but you might want to try dropping all the punctuation at the end of the lines apart from the two full stops. The semicolons interrupt the flow a little.

Rob