Your hands-
are like a tomb,
containing my soul.
Or a butterfly;
navigating...
the creases in my hands
flitting toward light.
Under my skin,
shifting...
in my bones.
You cannot recover.
Hold that thought.
Free-fall back in time;
a shadow-
crawling from a grave.
With ink-stained eye lids,
writing...
as you blink.
Transcript of the past-
your silhouette...
contained,
like a ghost on camera.
Comments
skinner_jennifer | May 2, 2011 - 13:16
Hi Beeme,
Oh! this sent shivers through me.
Loved those lines:-
With ink-stained eye lids,
writing...
as you blink.
Transcript of the past-
your silhoutette...
contained,
like a ghost on camera.
Great read thankyou.
Jenny.
Beeme | May 2, 2011 - 14:55
Hey,
Thank you so much jenny :)
Beeme xx
SundaysChild | May 2, 2011 - 17:22
You create very vivid imagery Beeme
Beeme | May 2, 2011 - 17:50
Thank you sundays child x
insertponceyfre... | May 2, 2011 - 18:52
i agree with Sundayschild - beautiful imagery in this Beeme. just one little thing: I'm not sure a butterfly can flock on its own - I think there would have to be a few of them to do that.
Silver Spun Sand | May 2, 2011 - 19:18
Hi there, Beeme. I agree with insert...wonderful imagery.
Maybe you could substitute 'flitting' instead of 'flocking'; it makes a nice internal rhyme with 'shifting'.
Much enjoyed;-)
Tina xx
fatboy74 | May 2, 2011 - 22:35
Very much enjoyed Beeme - excellent word choices as always. Did you mean crave? ATB FB
Beeme | May 2, 2011 - 22:47
thank you Insert, Tina and Fatboy. Really glad you enjoyed and thanks for the pointers :) x
seashore | May 3, 2011 - 10:39
Beautiful in a melancholic way.
MistakenMagic | May 3, 2011 - 17:53
Absolutely beautiful, Beeme! That last image is particularly stunning. Well done on the cherry :)
Magic xxx
rjnewlyn | May 3, 2011 - 21:39
Yes, this is a very good one and efficiently sepulchral - congratulations on the cherry (well-deserved).
Rob
JoseHdz | May 4, 2011 - 00:24
i have been away from ABCTales for a while, but this poem makes me think of all the great poems i have missed :( a lot of these poems seem like something out of a published book.. congrats on the cherry!
cheers,
-Jose.
Beeme | May 5, 2011 - 16:07
Thank you so much seahsore, Magic, Rob and Jose. I appreciate your kind comments so much xx