Too many people are forgetting
their names today,
but do not lie down under that bridge.
It is where the pigeons conregate
the grounds uneven and it smells like shit.
Drag your body homebound one limb after the next.
Like a suitcase of a forgotten life
that if he remembers he'll drink to forget.
Don't fall in love you'll only get hurt.
At least biker bars are honest
they brag in fluroescent banners
that their prices are fair;
an intimacy with sinking souls is like gravity with the dead.
Tomorrow the world will fall
but we’ll be at ground level.
Feet and soul entwined
In a brawl for the nearest liquor
can which even the wind is kicking away.
But we say it’s lonely tonight
and somebodies got to keep the demand,
for billy beer happy.
There are stories in scars,
and beauty in the person trying to hide them.
Out of love or because of the honesty,
that brought them here in the first place
which is turning its back on you now.
But someone somewhere has fucked up worse.
Or you can be happy imagining so
and take peace in each regret
that one day may be washed away.
Tear or beer stains shine under streetlights,
when your skins are the only clothes you win
for selling your soul for a price that matches nothing.
Comments
MistakenMagic | June 16, 2012 - 14:05
"Too many people are forgetting
their names today,
but do not lie down under that bridge."
- what a brilliant opening, Beeme! Really love all the images in this one, especially the suitcase like a 'forgotten life'. I love that final line too, but can't help thinking there's a word missing. Maybe "An intimacy with sinking souls is like gravity with the dead." Alternatively, the problem could be it doesn't make sense a single sentence, and if you put a semi-colon after 'fair' it would work better:
"they brag in fluroescent banners
that their prices are fair;
an intimacy with sinking souls like gravity with the dead."
Just some suggestions, but I really enjoyed this! :-)
Magic xxx
Beeme | June 16, 2012 - 16:59
Thank you Magic, I'm glad you enjoyed! I have added alot more to this poem now as it didn't feel finished to me. See what you think :)
Beeme xx
MistakenMagic | June 16, 2012 - 17:06
Wow, absolutely love the new additions! You're right, it really fleshes out the poem, bringing lots more gritty and even post-apocalyptic images to mind. One little typo I caught - 'skin are' should either be 'skins are' or 'skin is', then it's perfect ;-)
Magic xxx
Beeme | June 16, 2012 - 17:17
Thanks Magic, I'm glad you agree and like the extra verses. Thank you so much for your lovely words once again.
Beeme xx
shoe | June 17, 2012 - 12:52
Bleak, beautiful and painful, Whatever changes you've made, they seem to have worked!
Beeme | June 17, 2012 - 16:20
Thanks shoe!