KEEPING ABREAST
If a fraction of the effort that went into
Research of women’s breasts and their bras
Had instead gone into exploration
Of space, the galaxy and the stars
We would today be operating
Burger joints on the moon and mars
BOSS KEY
I think you’ll agree that Nothing
Motivates a man not to shirk
More than to see his boss
Putting in an honest day's work
THE ARMY GAME
Salute it only if it moves
Pick it up if it doesn't move
If you can't salute it
Or pick it up just paint it
TYPES
In the world as it is today
There are two types of people only
Those who divide people into two types
And those who aren’t that lonely
LISTENING
If people listened
More often to what they say
They wouldn’t talk
All the live long day
THE FOOD CHAIN
It may be better to be a live hyena
Than a dead lion
But it’s better and considerably easier
To be a live lion
PIGGY IN THE MIDDLE
The first shall be last
And the last shall be first
But if you're in the middle
You’ll suffer the worst
WORKMATE
When I do the decorating
I always use my stepladder
And the reason for that is
I don't get on with my real ladder
STRIKE A LIGHT DAD
“Always fight fire with fire”
My Dad always said to me
Which is why he was sacked
From the fire brigade probably
NEW SPEAK
I hate made up words that infest
Our language, here are some
Trichologists, Choclotiers
And Bifidus Digestivum
