AI DI
Would you call a blonde
Who for instance
Has died her hair brunette
Artificial intelligence
DOWN TO EARTH
My blonde girlfriends
Are really such fools
They think Ertha Kitt
Is a set of garden tools
SHORT BLONDE
I suppose I’ve often thought
Why blonde jokes are so short?
They would say in their wisdom
Its so men can remember them.
IF IT MOVES SALUTE IT
My blonde girlfriends
Are really barmy
They think general motors
Is in the army
BETTER DEAD THAN RED
Bimbette suspected that her boyfriend Fred was cheating on her
So she went out and bought herself a gun to end the sordid affair
She went to his house and when she entered found Fred was in bed
But she found that he was not alone but in the arms of a redhead
Well Bimbette was beside herself and she was incredibly angry
How could he betray her with a great busty redheaded old floozy?
She opened her bag took out the gun and put it to her blonde head.
He said "No don't do it baby" she replied, "Shut up, you're next Fred!"
AIR HEAD
Bimbette went to the airport
And saw a sign that said
"Airport left," she turned around
And went home instead
TEX MEX RING DING
My blonde girlfriends
Are really silly
They think taco bell
Is the Mexican Phone Company
BIMBETTE AND THE BUILDER
Bimbette saw a builder called Paddy one day in a bar
And she noticed on one of his wellies the letter R
Then she saw something odd on the other boot as well
She noticed that the other welly bore the letter L
Curiosity got the better of her so she asked Paddy
“Scuse me there are letters on your boots I can see”
Paddy smiled at her and said, “It’s quite simple really”
“The one with the R on it is for my right foot you see
And the welly with the L on it goes on my left one”
Bimbette stood blankly for a while after he was done
Then suddenly the light of understanding flickers
"Blimey! So that's why I’ve got C&A on my knickers”
STAGNANCY TEST
The way to help a blonde
Get a positive pregnancy test
Is to ejaculate into her shoes
And then let the flies do the rest
INCONCEIVABLE
Bimbette went to see her doctor
As she was felling quite unwell
And after a thorough examination
The doctor had something to tell
Bimbette was then told the news
That she was in fact expecting
After the initial shock was over
She wanted to know about delivering
He said you’ll be in the same position
Roughly when you conceived you know
“What in the back of a Mini Cooper
With me legs sticking out the window”?
A THIN DIME
Well the difference between
A skinny blonde schmuck
And a counterfeit dollar
Is that one's a phony buck
WHAT A GAS
My blonde girlfriend
Is quite a dozy bunny
She has just sold her car
To raise some petrol money
NEIGHBORS FROM HELL
Norma is just getting out of the shower when she hears their doorbell ring
Husband Jay who’s getting in the shower says “see who’s at the door darling”
So Norma wraps herself up in a towel and runs down the stairs to answer it
She opens the front door and standing there is her next-door neighbor Sanjit
Before she could say a word Sanjit said as soon as she had opened the door
"I'll give you five hundred pounds to drop the towel you’re wearing to the floor
Norma thought for a second then dropped the towel and stood naked before him
He looked over every inch of her wet naked slender form, well toned and slim
Then without taking his eyes off her he handed her the money and was away
Excited at her windfall, Norma put the towel back on and ran upstairs to Jay
But before Norma had a chance to tell him of her good fortune with the money
Her husband shouted out from the shower, "Who was that at the door honey?"
Norma still a little flushed replied to him "It was Sanjit from next door actually"
"That’s Great," Jay said, "Did he give you the five hundred pounds he owes me?"
I THINK SHE’S BLONDE
I think that a blonde
Would be called
Who has half a brain
Well Gifted
BRAINY BLONDE
The brain cells
Of a blonde crone
Will almost inevitably
Die all Alone
