DON’T JUST SMILE
To smile is very good
But if you follow my tips
It's the second best thing
You can do with your lips
BLINDING PANTS
If love is blind
To be unkind
Why is lingerie?
So popular to see
SPLASH OUT
I was at a garage today
And at the next pump there was a porno star
Just as the fuel began to flow
He took out the nozzle and sprayed over the car
CRIBBAGE
To build a babies crib
Takes many nails
But only a screw to fill it
Often never fails
COME AND GONE
A coffin and a condom
Have in common something
They're both filled with stiffs
Either coming or going
SEX GAMES
Autoerotic asphyxiation
Is listed under sexual games
Are a deadly association
And not trendy children’s names
DAY BY DAY
Mums have mother's day
Dad's have father's day
Single men have Palm Sunday
SEXUAL POLITICS # 4
Young men sow their wild oats
On Saturday night
Then on Sunday they sit and pray
For crop blight
TROUBLE IN PARADISE
It was not the apple on the tree
That caused the trouble you see
In the garden what god found
Was the pair on the ground
SOMETHING NEW
Don’t worry about it
New experiences aren’t a crime
And besides it will only seem
Kinky for the first time
