MATCH OF THE DAY

I took the boys to the match
Down the road on Saturday
I take them to the home games
But we never ever go away

They’re only a conference side
About mid table if were lucky
If we manage a decent cup run
The pundits call us plucky

Almost numb with boredom
We suffered a dull first half
The ref fell over on his arse
So at least we had a laugh

To cheer the boys up a bit
I took them to a burger bar
I didn’t know how long we’d be
The line didn’t seem that far

The true concept of “fast food”
Seems to have passed them by
As we spent half time queuing
For two hot dogs and a pie

I sent the boys to the stands
Coming over all paternal
I queued on my own and missed
Two goals after the interval

Back in the stand with the boys
I realized I’d got nothing for me
And when I tied Josh’s shoelace
I missed goal number three

I saw the last five minutes
Until the final whistle blew
Still at least we won the match
The last time we only drew

Match days are meant to be fun
I must be totally off my brain
Halfway home without a coat
It starts to pour with rain

Forty quid to see the match
Plus fast food and a program
Still at least I spent the day
With my boys Ben Josh and Sam