PICK A POCKET ANY POCKET
Last winter it was just about as cold as it can get
And I saw a “dipper” stood outside the launderette
It was so cold you wouldn’t even go out for cigarettes
So cold he stood with his hands in his own pockets
ONE IN A MILLION
A journalist is exactly like a Sperm
I can hear you disagreeing
Both have a one in a million chance
Of becoming a human being
LIGHT SOUND
Light travels faster than sound
A fact you simply cannot balk
This is why some people appear
Bright until you hear them talk
LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE # 10
To any problem no matter how difficult
There is the very simplest solution
If only you could be bothered to search
This will turn out to be the wrong option
A WORLD OF MY OWN
I live in my own little world
Yes I do I’m quite sincere
I live in my own little world
It's ok though they know me here
VERY TAXING
A fine is a tax for when
You do something bad
A tax is a fine for when
You do good - how mad
THAT’S PROOF YOU FOOL
Nothing is really foolproof
Despite the general rule
No nothing is foolproof
To a particularly gifted fool
THE MISPROBUNCITATION OF YOUTH
The young think to feel -
Sophistication
That all they need is -
Intoxication
But this only leads to -
Mispronunciation
HE WHO LAUGHS
He who laughs last, laughs the longest
Is how the saying is supposed to go-est
I think who laughs last, thinks slowest
LOST IN A SPACE
I just got lost in thought
I’m sorry but that’s my story
Now you might well scoff
As it was unfamiliar territory
