For The Whimpering, Whining & Withering Lil’ Fools Amongst Us Who Quiver N’ Shiver Because When They Step Outside Their Door In The Dewy Early Morn Their Heads Come Close To Exploding When Confronted With Something That Just Doesn’t Quite compute. much. like. thelma. without. a. louise. they. must. strap. themselves. in. a. cruiser. alone. driving. as. fast. as. they. possibly. can. muster. towards. the. cliff. of. all. conclusions. finally. coming. to. terms. with. the. simple. fact. that. this. is. not. the. life. that. they. planned. No. when. They. were. In. Their. Early. twenties. Or. perhaps. Even. earlier. When. their. Puny. lil’. Teenhead. was. Dwindling. in. The. jelly. Of. western. Popular. culture. Probably. Trying. to. Decide. just. What. exactly. Their. favorite. Rock. star. Had. for. BREAKFAST-but-YOU-know-THAT-life-DOESN’t-always-DEAL-itself-SO-prettily-a-HAND-that-YOU-are-ABLE-to-SIT-down-AT-the-POKERTABLE-of-LIFE-AND-insist-THAT-the-hand-YOU-are-DEALT-isn’t-A-perfecto-ONE-then-SOMEWHERE-alONG-the-CRUising-pATH-oF-EXIstence-THe-BottOM-migHT-jusT-fALL-ThroUGH-whEN-yoU-fiNd-YoURSElf-StuCK-RIght-down. in. the. deepest. darkest. lil’. corner. of. the. world. with. your. hands. up. to. your. face. in. that. Home Alone. gesture. wherein. macaulay culkin. looks. as. if. he’d. been. studying. munch’s. painting. for. eons. being. whipped. in. the. basement. of. his. biz-career-pushing-parents. who. were. lowering. down. to. him. a. bucket. of. gruel. every. few. hours. telling. him. that if he. doesn’t. memorize. the. maniacal. memetics n’ mannerisms of ol’ munch’s work, he’ll most certainly GET the HOSE again.
