Christmas sleighs and Christmas bells;
Christmas sights and Christmas smells;
Chrismas Santas; Fairy dells:
Buy them at low prices.
Christmas fun and Christmas cheer;
Christmas wine and Chrismas beer;
Get your Christmas bargains here:
Santa-shaped choc ices.
Christmas ham on Santa plate;
Stilton cheese, that stuff you hate:
Buy it now before too late,
All for five pounds twenty.
Christmas phones and children's Nikes;
Traitors' heads on Christmas spikes;
All those sprouts nobody likes:
We've got joy a-plenty.
Man-sized pinnies with fake tits;
Gordon Ramsay's Food for Shits;
Christmas junk for Christmas gits:
Buy your presents here.
No-one's bought my festive guff,
Now I'll never move this stuff.
Santa junk? We've had enough.
Try again next year.