Comments

May I say what a truly skanky poem this is? I thought it must have been written by a Klingon with diarrhoea which, incidentally, often goes away without treatment, unlike your poem.

I didn't read it to the end because the first word was enough to tell me what we're dealing with here. There's a whole dictionary of words to choose from and you had to use that one. Why? I mean, why would you begin a poem with the word 'why'? If you don't know I'm sure I don't.

It's hardly likely to endear you to your reader if you start by asking him questions. You didn't even leave spaces for the answers. Are you writing a poem or setting an exam? Should your reader swot up beforehand? Can he use reference material? Is it a multiple choice poem?

When writing a poem, be positive. Tell your reader something he doesn't already know. If you joined all the hoses of the Chinese fire brigade end to end, for instance, would they reach Australia? Or the moon? If there was a fire on the moon you'd want to be sure you had a hose long enough, but does your poem address this issue? I think not. The moon could burn down for all you care.

Your poem shows great disrespect to William Shakespeare, who played the Captain of the Starship Enterprise. Aren't his poems good enough for you? If so, why do you want to write more? Some of us still revere Shakespeare's memory, which must have been quite good for him to learn all those lines. Just put down the number of one of Shakespeare's sonnets and I can go and read that. Preferably one that deals with important matters like fires and the saving of lives.

Now we come to the matter of size. You wrote your poem much too small. It's all very well for youngsters with good eyesight, but a little consideration for people with only a pair of Boots self-select reading glasses wouldn't go amiss. Luckily I had the magnifying glass I was going to use to set fire to the moon, if it ever came out during the day, so I could just about make out the first word.

Of course, it might have been 'who', I'm not absolutely sure. If it was, let me know and I'll comment again.