The singular of sheep is shope.
Or is it the past tense?
I can never remember.
I have shopen. Shoped?
Quite often, as a matter of fact.
Yesterday I shope. Surely not?
Today I shall go shope-ing
for a sharp but sleepy sheep.
Just one will do, so shope?
What has the shape of a shope,
But shows a singular lack
Of conshern for its bad shabits?
A shabbit? A pushy shat?
Is a sheep a verb or a noun?
I must remember to ask one.
I sheep, therefore I sham.
You sheep. Yes, you!
He/she/it sheeps shoundly.
We sheep. That’s Scottish for little sheep.
Ewe sheep. Welshmen love those.
They sheep. Or is it them sheep?
Oh, now I remember,
Sheep is already singular.
The plural is redundant.
Knew I’d get it in the end.
I’m off to buy a flock of redundant.
How to Conjugate a Sheep
Published by FTSE100 on November 7, 2008 - 16:24
from the ABC set Junk
from the ABC set Junk
Comments
Stefano | November 7, 2008 - 17:07
Sorry FTSE, not one of your best.
Bradene | November 7, 2008 - 17:08
Very funny. Try reciting that after you've had a few beers :) Val
FTSE100 | November 7, 2008 - 17:12
Stef: You old flatterer, you. I thought it was okay for five minutes' work.
Val: Thank you. I can tell you're a person of great taste and discernment. :o) Paul
Ewan | November 7, 2008 - 18:51
Footsie you are at least six weeks too late for the IPOW that this would have come near to satisfying.(http://www.abctales.com/story/ewan/mr-malaprop-love)
This particular effort - not the parenthetic effort above - is one of your best, or one of mine; I think what Stef is trying to say is that it's not one of Stefano's best.
PS
I think conjugating a sheep is something that happens in Wales or Western Australia.
FTSE100 | November 7, 2008 - 20:28
Hi Ewan, I did read that piece of yours when you first put it up. Too lazy to comment I'm afraid. I'll belatedly say: excellent work. Lots of fun.
Given that I'm an honorary Welshman, living just a few miles over the border, I'd better keep my own counsel about the finer points of conjugating sheep. You never know who might be listening...
MistakenMagic | November 7, 2008 - 20:31
Such a unique poem FTSE100! Though I've come to expect that of you :) A superb conversation with ones self. I particularly loved the ending!
Magic xxx
FTSE100 | November 9, 2008 - 01:22
I'm liking you more and more, Magic! :-) Thanks for your comment.
Stefano | November 9, 2008 - 01:25
Congratulations FTSE, this is one of your best.
FTSE100 | November 9, 2008 - 16:47
I knew the electric shocks would help you see things my way. You can remove the electrodes now.
jennifer | November 9, 2008 - 20:27
Were you pissed when you wrote this? I feel drunk just reading it! Hilarious.
*reaches for the bottle*