By the shores of Gitche Gumee,
By the sword of Horsen Hagu,
By the skirts of Widow Twanky,
Those fine skirts of Widow Twanky,
I swear vengeance on Sha Koma,
Who has criticised my metre,
Poured his scorn upon my scansion,
Mocked my perfect punctuation,
Laughed so loudly at my pathos,
My so finely crafted pathos.
I shall call him on my mobile,
Leave a message of derision:
I have shagged your little daughter
By the banks of Big-Sea-Water,
I have played amongst her titties
And seen all her little pretties.
People say I should know better,
That I have to say I’m sorry,
That I can’t be on the telly,
That I must stop being naughty.
I shall show some mock contrition,
Soon be back on television,
By the poofs and their piano,
By the guests with film promotions,
By the sword of Horsen Hagu,
I swear vengeance on them all!
Comments
Ewan | October 31, 2008 - 15:41
Never stop being you.
Should it be
'I shall call him on my mobile'?
FTSE100 | October 31, 2008 - 17:21
You are absolutely right Ewan. All fixed now.
I had to terminate the last line early because once you're on the trochee train there's no way to stop it! I'll have to take a look and see how Longfellow did it.
Ewan | October 31, 2008 - 18:05
I'm not sure, I reckon he pulls the emergency cord!
shoebox | November 1, 2008 - 05:44
It is an interesting, fun read. Your brillance is enviable. Keep writing and posting. (And read no more of my kids' posts!) :)
FTSE100 | November 1, 2008 - 21:17
Thank you shoebox.
MistakenMagic | November 3, 2008 - 16:41
Another witty and brilliant poem FTSE100 :) Am I right in thinking this is about Jonathan Ross?
Magic xx
FTSE100 | November 3, 2008 - 23:36
Thanks Magic. It's an alternative version of the Jonathan Ross story that happened in a galaxy far, far away. The real thing was too boring for words!