Department of Scroungers and Benefit Cheats,
Government Buildings,
Secret Location,
Wales
Tel: We’ll call you if we want you.
Email: Don’t.
Ref. 925/PX56/R9614327T/DumDeDum/45BN692648601534/
ISBN456284/NUTJOB/SCROUNGER
Dear Scrounger,
Further to your letter of several months ago, we have now kept you waiting long enough to show you how insignificant and worthless you are.
You ask whether your benefits will be affected if we hound you to suicide. The answer is, of course, that we would seek to reclaim any and all monies paid to you. If you were contemplating suicide, you obviously had no serious intention of looking for a job.
My personal preference would be to drive you to the brink of suicide but not over it. That way we can keep up the pressure for much longer. I have often wished I could see the results of the forms we send out: you'd think that scroungers could be made to have television cameras in their homes. Instead I must just imagine your pain. Please write and tell me about it.
Die slowly and not too soon,
Rosemary
Don’t Blame Me, I’m Only Doing My Job.
http://www.abctales.com/story/housetrained/die-soon
Comments
insertponceyfre... | May 8, 2012 - 21:55
made me laugh. sounds like the social worker they gave us - in fact could you rename your character rosemary in her honour?
sid | May 8, 2012 - 23:25
Ahaha yes me and mine have been there alright, and how often we have laughed bitterly, putting these exact words in their mouths. Soon as I get home on Friday I'm going to read this to my fella, I know it'll make him blow tea out of his nose