Twitter Twatter Tales ( I.P.)

1. He was a hard man, not the sought of man who wasted a grudge!

2. Aunty Rose said her garden was so small you couldn’t swing a cat. Uncle George proved her wrong!

3. Uncle George also proved that day that cats don’t have nine lives.

4. She loved everything about her kittens, their smell, their small furry faces, the way they made that cute purring sound and of course the taste, she loved the taste.

5. His best friend was Tony Harris, his nickname was Bomber as in Bomber Harris, he very quickly realised it was a mistake to shout out for his best friend on London Underground Stations.

6. He wanted to kiss her like she’d never been kissed before, he did, then couldn’t get the taste of ear wax out of his mouth.

7. He walked along Oxford street with his sign “ The End Of the World is Nigh”, no one took any notice, still, he could always come back tomorrow.

8. He parked in a disabled bay, didn’t have a blue badge just a marble in his shoe.

9. It was so nice of his new Rastafarian neighbour to make him some fudge cake. After four pieces he decided to fly next door and thank him.

10. He was always being told off for biting his nails in public, now he was being told off for biting other peoples. He just couldn’t win!