My hostess hates me, I’ve never known why –
She says I’ve ruined her life.
Apparently, she’d rather die
than have me stay inside her.
She doesn’t understand
My family live in everyone.
We’re not malicious, just natural.
We’re present at birth in legs, tums and hands
I understand
She needs to blame someone.
Yet it’s truly by her own hand
that I swell and spread – it’s not planned.
I’m lovely, once you get to know me
but she never takes the time.
She says I’m lumpy, thick and ugly
I can’t answer back; only cry.
She says ‘my sort’ isn’t wanted today
Society has never wanted me either.
Could you ever imagine how it must feel
to be rejected and abhorred, day by day?
She bounces and jiggles me, upside down
and sends my head fair reeling.
She must be acting like such a clown
to give me this awful feeling.
It’s over quite quickly, if you think about it
yet these hours are the longest of my life.
Acid rushes to meet me. No mercy.
Burns me away, little by little.
Too little, too long, for my Miss Jilly
she starves herself, and me!
Just to catch the eye of that lad –
What do they call him? Billy?!
Once again, though, she changes her tactics
She eats, and eats, and eats.
But before her eating’s become part of me
she makes herself be sick.
But, doesn’t she realise? It’s oh so silly
She’ll ruin her teeth that way
Society won’t love her any more than now
and neither will that lad, Billy.
Next thing I know, I’m on a surgeon’s table
They’re poking and prodding around.
All I can hear is the slurp of my ear being sucked up by a Hoover
I’m panicking, hysterical – I DON’T WANT A LABEL!
Well, most of me was sucked away
I’m seriously in mourning –
But Jilly’s still not satisfied
She’s bingeing again! Happy days!
Yet again, she’s under the knife
and this time she’s deadly serious.
I think it’s called a gastric band
I’ll say my goodbyes, it’s the end of my life.
Thank you all, for being so kind -
Society, I thank you especially.
Don’t worry, I’m being sarcastic, of course
You’re out of your bloody minds!
What possesses you to pick on teenage girls
and tell them they don’t look good?
You don’t want sheep, you want stick insects
Leave them alone, let them be normal!
