Silently Still

So very poignant, Mels.

Tina;-)

Very moving poem, very evocative images. I wonder if the word 'gone' in the second line should be something else? Perhaps 'absent'? I really love the final line - simple and strong. Thanks for sharing Mels.

Such a sad poem, but at the same time your
words captured the loss so well.

Jenny.

Thanks so much Tina Anvar and Jenny for your feed back!!! Yay this one was kind of a personal one :))

Thanks Anvar for pointing out the "gone" lol i agree it didnt sound just right so i decided to change it to green instead because my father had some killer green eyes :)) it was the first thing to come to mind lol
- Mels Olive

Thanks so much Tina Anvar and Jenny for your feed back!!! Yay this one was kind of a personal one :))

Thanks Anvar for pointing out the "gone" lol i agree it didnt sound just right so i decided to change it to green instead because my father had some killer green eyes :)) it was the first thing to come to mind lol
- Mels Olive

That's perfect. Great change.

Sad yearning poem Mels. A lot of feeling. It's nice that it's brief and to the point.

Thanks Parson! Im glad u like it!
- Mels Olive

I liked it too. Poetry doesn't have to be long to make a point. Nice one Mels!