Le Grand Départ

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from the ABC set The Shadow Cycle

One, final ritual, before the 'Big Push' -
'Le Grand Départ...' I carefully
remove all the posters, photos
and cards from my bedroom walls.

It's a collage that's been growing
ever since I was thirteen -
created my own, colourful
wallpaper, it seems. You can
tell the oldest pieces
by their fraying corners
and dusty skins.

One by one, I pull them away:
reminders of bands I haven't
listened to for years -
actors I once swooned over -
their prized autographs, dog-eared.

Slowly, methodically, the memories
dissolve. Until there's only me left:
sitting, cross-legged, on my bed,
in an empty room with naked walls.

I'd forgotten they used to be white.
But, now, they are a noisy,
static white. It is as if I'm the one
who's been stripped down raw -
to the very core. My life scrubbed clean.
And I'm shivering - distraught!

A dark shape moves over one wall.
I knew you'd come and find me, Shadow -
so far, avoided our goodbye.
Still, you cradle me in your lap,
hold me so tightly - helping me to cry.

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Comments

insertponceyfre... | September 29, 2010 - 21:43

Really loved this one Magic - it is quite heartbreaking pulling posters off walls and watching rooms lose their personality, and I think you've described it perfectly

MistakenMagic | September 29, 2010 - 21:49

Thank you, insert! Glad you enjoyed this one - oh and, by the way, I have it on good authority that a series of poems is called a 'cycle' ;)

Magic xxx

iDrew | September 29, 2010 - 22:27

Strange thing with posters. There is that sadness, even if yer taking them down to redecorate, and all the little bits of bluetack, but it’s also such great fun ripping them down in a huff - or is that just me? You’ve captured the emptiness and after shock of starkness brilliantly.

xDrew

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MistakenMagic | September 29, 2010 - 22:29

Don't worry, Drew - I did get a bit 'rippy' at one point ;) Thanks for reading - glad you enjoyed!

Magic xxx

JoseHdz | September 29, 2010 - 23:49

Great coming of age poem.. I can definitely recall the day I took down my Rage Against The Machine, Deftones, Hendrix posters down: it was like a silet death..

Great poem as usual.

Cheers.

MistakenMagic | September 29, 2010 - 23:53

Thank you, Jose! 'Silent death' - I can relate. But I'm sure the posters that survived my clear-out will look great, brightening up my room at Durham ;)

Magic xxx

JoseHdz | September 30, 2010 - 01:43

Good luck at Durham! I'm sure you'll do great there judging from your obvious writing talent.

Louise178 | September 30, 2010 - 08:21

This is lovely magic, very gentle. My son is off to uni on Sunday, he has a great big poster of the periodic table on his wall, I can't wait to take it down! :)

MistakenMagic | September 30, 2010 - 08:50

Thank you so much for the vote of confidence, Jose! ;)

And thanks, Louise - he goes the same day as me. My mum can't wait for me to leave so she can 'properly' tidy my room!

Magic xxx

Highhat | September 30, 2010 - 09:00

It's exciting setting up a new home- but having to leave the old one can be a sad time as you have described very well here ' my life scrubbed clean' ' distraught'. I hope you have some space for at least a few of your old photos and posters in the new place? I think you have to take some of it with you. I would.
pia ;)

MistakenMagic | September 30, 2010 - 09:07

Hello, Pia! Thank you for your comment. I will definitely be taking a couple of posters and photos to Durham, don't worry ;)

Magic xxx

luigi_pagano | September 30, 2010 - 09:26

Hard as I try, Rebecca, I don't recall having had any posters in my youth. If I had they would have been of Sophia Loren or Gina Lollobrigida I expect. (This tells you to which generation I belong).
I remember collecting jazz records though. There is always something which reminds us of the past as your nice, nostalgic poem shows.

Luigi xxx

MistakenMagic | September 30, 2010 - 09:44

Thank you, Luigi! I'm glad you can relate in some way ;) My posters featured Orlando Bloom and Daniel Craig - still undecided as to whether they will be accompanying me or not!

Magic xxx

skinner_jennifer | September 30, 2010 - 10:28

Hello Magic,
I think you will do amazing things at Durham and good luck.
Your writing and imagination will get you through.
You really helped me remember when I left home, but it was
my dad who ripped the layers of posters of my wall, I think
that was very helpful of you to do it for your mum.
I wish you all the luck in the world, in whatever you do,
I also hope you stay happy and healthy and wise.
Congratulations on the cherries.
Jenny.

MistakenMagic | September 30, 2010 - 17:21

Hey, Jenny! Thank you so much for your kind words :)

Magic xxx

threeleafshamrock | September 30, 2010 - 17:48

Coming out of the cocoon is hard; it's an end of an era. But it's not just an ending, it's a beginning; an evolving. The caterpillar years are gone; it's time to fly.
The past has been painted and kept in a special place, the future is a vast canvass and you have the skill to paint it any way you want; I know it will be filled with colour and imagination....embrace it!
Good luck Bex and best wishes for the future.

Chris XXXXX

tcook | September 30, 2010 - 17:59

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MistakenMagic | September 30, 2010 - 18:01

Thank you for such lovely words, Chris! I think you have a poem there ;)

And cheers Tony! I'm honoured, as always :)

Magic xxx

Silver Spun Sand | October 1, 2010 - 12:15

This brings the memories flooding back of my two girls embarking on their nursing careers.

One of your finest poems, Magic. It is quite beautiful and more than deserving of its accolades.

Tina xxx

MistakenMagic | October 1, 2010 - 19:06

Thank you, Tina! Glad you could relate to this in your own way ;)

Magic xxx

rjnewlyn | October 1, 2010 - 22:17

Brings back strong memories. Rooms (and, later, flats/houses) are strange things in the personalities they take on and then shed immediately someone comes in to redecorate.

Durham will be great I'm sure, though I've never met anyone who enjoyed freshers stuff (although everyone pretends their hardest ...). Try to ignore it all when it happens and see the longer picture.

Rob

MistakenMagic | October 2, 2010 - 00:24

Thanks, Rob! Most of my friends have already had their freshers week - so I'm ready to get cracking!! I'm all packed now, and just ready to go ;)

Magic xxx

Kahdai | October 3, 2010 - 11:40

Hei magic I remember pulling off my precious photos, drawings & posters when was moving out in a hurry! xxx K

kheldar | November 4, 2010 - 20:44

Well worthy of all the praise liberally heaped upon it, let me heap some more!!!!

I found this particularly poignant as I made the mistake of cleansing my life too thouroughly when I passed from childhood to adolesence, and then from adolesence into adulthood. I hope you remembered to keep part of your childhood with you.

xx :--)

MistakenMagic | November 4, 2010 - 23:20

I did indeed, David. Some of the posters and photographs are now on my walls here at Durham :)

Magic xxx