No longer clad in khaki
nor glinting medal,
but his blue-striped pyjamas.
He stumbles across the nightmare
of No Man’s Land.
The shell craters greet him
with gasping mouths,
wallowing in the mud.
His feet sink slowly
into the layers of bones and blood.
There are shadows being knitted
by the needles of barbed wire.
He knows them.
He sent them over the top
with a smile . . . a smile.
He jolts awake.
No mud, just a mattress.
Everything is as it should be;
his black suit is hung ready
for the Sunday service,
a poppy pinned to a pocket.
But its petals are flushed
with embarrassment,
eyes black with anger.
It turns its face to the wall.
Comments
jennifer | November 9, 2008 - 19:40
Sad, but you might need to explain it to me, is he embarrassed to be still having nightmares after all this time?
This line is superb:
'There are shadows being knitted
by the needles of barbed wire.'
MistakenMagic | November 9, 2008 - 20:00
Thanks for the review jennifer! It is the poppy that is embarrassed by him. He sent his batallion over the top to certain death 'with a smile' - but found an excuse not to go with them and they perished. He is now haunted by the fact that his men died where he survived, a coward.
jennifer | November 9, 2008 - 21:15
Now I reread, I see.
Haunting and topical for today, great writing!
Nathan Bednarek | November 9, 2008 - 22:54
Wow, I'm exhausted after reading this Magic. The imagery and the craftsmanship here is just overwhelming. I need a breather. ;-p
The idea is great (and in harmony with your 'history geek' persona- as you once described yourself in one of the comments). ;-D
The lines already quoted by Jennifer
'There are shadows being knitted
by the needles of barbed wire.'
are pure genius, pure, pure genius. This poem is one of your best in my opinion.
I love the metaphor of the poppy- the undertone in this image is in perfect harmony with the actual symbol of the poppy and how amazingly sad is that ;-)
The last line was a killer. You shot me dead on that one and I'm left mesmerised- eyes glued to the desktop.
Ok, again, I need a breather. There's far more I could say about this piece, but I think I’d suffocate ;-p
Well done, magnificent work.
Love, Nathan.
Silver Spun Sand | November 9, 2008 - 23:31
"The shell craters greet him
with gasping mouths,
wallowing in the mud ..."
For me, the most amazing lines, although the whole poem said so much to me. A poem to be proud of, Magic on a very poignant and special day.
Tina x
MistakenMagic | November 10, 2008 - 19:53
Nathan I'm speechless! Your comment brought tears to my eyes! I'm so glad one of my poems could speak to you so much, and you can go on and on about it for all I care, I love to hear people's opnions on my work :)
And thank you Tina, I'm glad it spoke to you too!
Magic xxx