Unexpected Intrusions of Beauty

Hey guys - I'm not 100% happy with this one's title. I'm torn between the current title and my other suggestions: "A Different Kind of Love", "Ain't Nobody" (the title of my favourite song at the moment) and "Unexpected Intrusions of Beauty" (from one of my favourite Saul Bellow quote). Its original title was "The Bucket List" but I cut out the stanza that tied that title to the poem... But I'd really appreciate your opinion and any other suggestions!

Magic xxx

I am leaning toward simply "Symmetry"

thoroughly enjoyed reading this :)

I love this poem Magic, beautiful images and an uplifting ending. Superb- you always impress me :)

Beeme xx

It posted twice sorry about that.. :)

Thanks for the suggestion, Maggie! Hmmm, it's been ages since I used a one-word title... I'm not sure if that's TOO simple. I shall have a think!

Magic xxx

Don't worry, Beeme - that's forever happening to me! Glad you like this one and I didn't disappoint ;-) Where do you stand on the title front?

Magic xxx

I really like unexpected intrusions of beauty. but i also like the title as it is. I think either could work this is such a strong piece. Xx

I do really like the current title, but "Unexpected Intrusions of Beauty" works on several levels - it's from a book by Saul Bellow that the Sam of the poem leant me this summer... Hmmm... Decisions, decisions!

Magic xxx

I am glad I read the title of the collection. Cleared up a few things.
I liked the simple reality of this Magic and the honesty.
Beautiful.

;)Pia

Magic, you've done it again! And I really like the title.

As Beeme says, the ending is uplifting, and in its entirety, beguiling in its seeming naivety.

Just wonderful;-)

Tina xxx

Hi MM, if YOU feel the title forms the walls for your poetry *room* then it works :-) and it's a very lovely room too xx

Thank you, Pia! This was originally a much longer poem, with longer lines and more talk, less imagery. But I really wasn't happy with it so I stripped it bare and this is the result. So glad you like it!

Magic xxx

Thanks, Tina - I'm very happy with the title now - it really fits in with my title aesthetic! And I love that Saul Bellow quote: "Unexpected intrusions of beauty. That is what life is."

Magic xxx

Haha, thanks, Lena! Glad you like my room :-)

Magic xxx

Hi Magic,

I think the title is fine as it is. I really loved
that first stanza, it took me back to younger days,
and the way you describe the envelopes and newspaper, like the underside of a mushroom, very
original.

Yes yet another great poem from you, much enjoyed
reading.

Jenny.xxx

Thanks, Jenny! You've picked out my favourite image - and as it happens that first stanza was actually added into one of the final drafts. Very glad I made that addition now ;-)

Magic xxx

I always enjoy your highly descriptive poems, Rebecca, and this is one that also resonates with me.
Having said that I am going to show myself up as a philistine. Having read the following
There's a strange, calm silence between us;
like the time we were cat-sitting
at Miss Hulme's house,
and we sat up until midnight,
waiting for him to turn eighteen.
I could not get rid of the thought that it was the cat turning eighteen.
But don't mind me, I am only being facetious.

Luigi xxx

Thanks for reading, Luigi! Don't worry, your comment really made me chuckle - I hadn't looked at it like that before. Not sure what I could do to prevent any confusion! But maybe I like that the ambiguous nature might raise a smirk ;-)

Magic xxx

Nice.

"...He throws his coat over the nettles..."

Ahh, a true gent who rolls his own.

He is indeed a true gent :) Thanks for reading, ScoZen!

Magic xxx

Ohh you changed the title. I like the new one very much; it does suit very well. Well done of the cherry too. I think this is one of my favourites of yours.

Beeme xx

Glad you like it Beeme! :-) This one put up a fight in the drafting process, so I'm happy it's turned out well!

Magic xxx

new MistakenMagic
Hi! Well deserved cherry!
Yep, I too at first thought same way
as Luigi,mentioned cat-sitting, as cat's live to good age. All pet's love to be pampered like human beings too.
Love the Title drew me in, right away.
excellent expression in the word's.
Great read. Hope your well.
Loved same stanza as jenny and Beeme.
Reminds me my late pop, used to roll
his fags, into little two roll hand roller,
and the baccy,twist up pops, rolled lick the tip.
Cigarette complete. Or amke his own from Navy days,
tap out the end of the shag baccy? Nicotine finger's deeply stained. But that puff, was puff of his life.
To him valuable. Aunt once had novelty? bird on top
trinket kind of box, and the draw would open, the bird bob down, and pick up the rolled cigarette fascinating, when kid too watch?
all the best.
julie xx

Thanks for stopping by, Richard! :-)

Magic xxx

Thank you for your lovely comment, Julie! That trinket box of your aunt's does sound fascinating. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :-)

Magic xxx

Yes, very good. I think I missed the first title but this one (or simply 'Intrusions of beauty') works fine. I liked the simplicity of it. The bloated chrysalis roll-up sounds like there might have been something other than tobacco in there ...

Rob

Thank you, Rob! Don't worry - it was just tobacco, I'm just a terrible roller! Sam was too when he first started rolling. I remember being sat outside a Starbucks when he was smoking a roll-up which was also, unfortunately, very suspicious looking despite being totally innocent. We got a lot of funny looks!

Magic xxx

what was hte current title?

The original title was "The Symmetry of Bones" but I thought that sounded a bit negative, so I changed it!

Magic xxx

Well... I like that one! awkward am I :) K

I came for the title! The poem is very good.

Excelsior!