A twilight azure peeks
through quarter-open eyes
of your sleep; at dawn
an invite bids me wait
as you contemplate its rise.
Maybe, it’s for yourself –
a chink, through which
to peep to see I’m still there,
beside you; a glimmer of hope
that, for once, reality will be
more beautiful than dreams.
Thus, my wakefulness rewarded,
as comes a moment, when slants
through the blinds, a shaft
of moonlight, rinsing darkness
from your face, for me to take
all the hours of the night to count
and count again, a hundred-and-ten
lashes that fringe the bridge
of your eyes; reach out, like a flood
of hands greeting the sky.
Indigo midnight moods,
like a shapeless silhouette,
flirting with your hair –
teasing them like the breeze
of the grassy meadows
on the forehead of the earth.
Wide awake – I listen
to the tides breaking –
colliding with the shores
of your lips, as hidden
beneath the waves,
a once sunken ship
waits to be revived;
your lips, the silk sheets spread
on my deathbed, only to rise
from the ashes and become
someone better, through
the well-intentioned gift –
an ability to listen, to each
and every utterance, escaped
their tender threshold.
Wide awake – I watch
silver and shadow mingle,
as they waltz on the curve
of your cheeks, whirling
as if trapped within freedom,
only disturbed when the tips
of my fingers trace a path
concealed on your skin;
a tear, once shed
in that moment
of sweet vulnerability
when you looked up
in the morning – saw
I was still there with you;
my heart forever sealed
upon your smile.
Comments
MistakenMagic | May 16, 2011 - 15:04
There are so many wonderful images in this, Nathan! Though I think the third stanza is definitely my favourite - the imagery of her eyelashes is just wonderful. I'm glad you've finally posted this and the finished piece is an absolute triumph. Well done :)
Magic xxx
Nathan Bednarek | May 16, 2011 - 15:08
Wow Magic, thank you. It's funny, because the third stanza was the one I was least confident about and it took me ages (and some help from Tina ;-P) to get it to flow nicely, so your comment means a lot to me. Thank you so much!
Nathan.
skinner_jennifer | May 16, 2011 - 16:35
Hi Nathan,
this is an amazing poem, almost something I can
imagine Romeo saying to his Juliet.
I totally agree with Magic, such wonderful images
you have conjured up, for me it was two lovers in
a bedroom, in some great castle, simply beautiful.
Yes you really got my imagination going with this
one.
Jenny.
Beeme | May 16, 2011 - 17:40
wow, this is such a breathe-taking poem. It's stuningly beautiful and every word fits perfetcly. You've clearly put a lot of effect in this and I think it has paid of significantly. I enjoyed this so much.
Beeme x
Silver Spun Sand | May 16, 2011 - 18:33
Nathan - much hard work has gone into this, that is obvious, as with all your poetry. It has certainly paid off. So many beautiful images, and it is a joy to read out loud, and my favourite stanza is definitely the penultimate;-)
More than well done on this, and I look forward, hopefully to more 'where this came from';-)
Tina xx
Nathan Bednarek | May 16, 2011 - 21:39
Haha, well, thank you Jenny, your comment is truly appreciated. I guess it's tone comes from within as I was writing about my 'Juliet' ;-)
Thanks again, Nathan.
Nathan Bednarek | May 16, 2011 - 21:40
Cheers Beeme, your comments are always so encouraging. I always look forward to reading them ;-)
Thanks x
Nathan Bednarek | May 16, 2011 - 21:44
Well, 'where this came from' is a source that doesn't seem to exhaust ideas for all sorts of art, so I guess you shall be seeing more soon. Thank you Tina for all your help with this one. Much appreciated as always. Thanks to your help, I was able to get it exactly as I want it ;-)
Love, Nathan x
fatboy74 | May 17, 2011 - 10:03
As others have mentioned some beautiful images of which I think 'rinsing darkness from your face' is my favourite. Much enjoyed. :-)
Nathan Bednarek | May 17, 2011 - 10:05
Cheers mate! Much appreciated ;-)
tcook | May 17, 2011 - 13:22
I've had a few emails about this poem and its lack of a cherry. I must admit that reading it through carefully I can only agree that it is richly deserving of some hanging fruit.
I also understand why it wasn't picked at first - I think it takes careful reading to see just how deep it is. Excellent - keep it up!
Nathan Bednarek | May 17, 2011 - 13:42
Wow Tony, that really means a lot. This is one of the most personal poems I have ever written, so I'm really glad about the cherry ;-)
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.
Nathan.
skinner_jennifer | May 17, 2011 - 13:44
Hi Nathen,
Congratulations on the well deserved cherries.
Jenny.
Nathan Bednarek | May 17, 2011 - 13:46
Cheers Jen ;-) It definitely tastes good ;-)
shoe | May 17, 2011 - 16:31
A really beautiful poem, I really can't choose a favourite as each has such gorgeous imagery, congratulations on a much deserved cherry.
shoe | May 17, 2011 - 16:32
A really beautiful poem, I really can't choose a favourite as each has such gorgeous imagery, congratulations on a much deserved cherry.
maggyvaneijk | May 17, 2011 - 17:02
This is absolutely stunning, one to read again and again. I love every single line, reading this poem, I have a suspicion that "reality will be
more beautiful than dreams".
Highhat | May 17, 2011 - 17:58
Very beautiful- sort of leaves you speechless
seashore | May 17, 2011 - 18:44
I have nothing to add - it's all been said. Very good writing.
Nathan Bednarek | May 17, 2011 - 21:27
Thanks shoe, I'm glad you like it.
Nathan Bednarek | May 17, 2011 - 21:30
Well, Maggy, you're on of the writers on this website I stumbled upon quite late, but quickly learned of your amazing talents, so coming from you, such a comment really raises my spirits. Thanks ;-)
Nathan.
Nathan Bednarek | May 17, 2011 - 21:31
Wow Highhat, that's really nice of your to say... see what I did there? ;-p
Thanks, much appreciated.
Nathan
Nathan Bednarek | May 17, 2011 - 21:32
Well, seashore, your comment means a lot. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
RachelPatricia | May 18, 2011 - 14:08
It has all been said - just stunning, Nathan. Many, many congrats on this, it's a beauty indeed :)
Rachel xx
Nathan Bednarek | May 18, 2011 - 14:18
Much appreciated Rachel. Thank you.
ScoZen | May 18, 2011 - 16:57
Nice one "...A sweet vulnerability..." indeed
Nathan Bednarek | May 18, 2011 - 21:41
Cheers! Glad you like it.
threeleafshamrock | June 1, 2011 - 13:12
Lovely piece Nathan. I particularly love the the third stanza. Wonderful images of 'tender vulnerability' make this a bit special. Well done!
Chris ;)
Nathan Bednarek | June 1, 2011 - 13:47
Thank you for such a lovely comment Chris. I'm actually surprised at how many people liked that stanza, but I'm so glad! Much appreciated. Thanks.
Nathan.
hilary west | July 4, 2011 - 23:38
A sensual symphony : quite delicious!
Nathan Bednarek | July 14, 2011 - 19:45
;-) thanks Hilary. Much appreciated.
InspiredWriter | August 4, 2011 - 12:06
Some of the lines in this poem are absolutely stunning, all the imagery is fantastic and last stanza is particularly poignant.
Love it!
Iw x
two_gents | August 26, 2011 - 01:53
Tommy Glynn Cheshire
Hi! Nathan?
I must say that I am not an admirer of 'prose' but I do think that it is each to his own?
I think that this extensive piece of work would have been better as a Story?
This is not a critisism of the work but it does take a lot of re- reading to get the general concept?
I prefer rythymic work as you will see if you go to my site, thanks for all your hard work Bye
Tommy Glynn
Richard L. Prov... | September 8, 2011 - 02:04
Nathan---each stanza is like a staircase of emotion, almost like looking at reflections of movement---a Northern Lights of brilliant images. Especially enjoyed the way you put together the third stanza. A great read. Richard LP
Nathan Bednarek | September 17, 2011 - 14:21
Cheers IW!
Nathan Bednarek | September 17, 2011 - 14:23
A much appreciated comment Tommy, thank you.
Nathan Bednarek | September 17, 2011 - 14:24
Richard, your words mean a lot to me. I'm really glad you liked it this much.
Nathan.
Prettyrose | October 9, 2011 - 01:45
Hi Nathan :)
Brilliant, you are truly talented, well done :)
Keep Writing
Keep Smiling :))
Nathan Bednarek | October 9, 2011 - 09:54
Thank you Prettyrose.
Syphon | July 25, 2012 - 18:43
Hi Nathan - sorry I have found this piece so late but wow what a truly wonderful piece of writing. thoroughly deserved praise above. Well done.
Nathan Bednarek | July 28, 2012 - 07:51
Thank you very much ;-)
littleditty | October 21, 2012 - 18:22
wonderful poem Nathan, needs to be read again --->
Nathan Bednarek | October 21, 2012 - 20:05
Thanks. Might be posting something soon ;)
Silver Spun Sand | October 22, 2012 - 08:59
I do hope so;-)
Nathan Bednarek | October 22, 2012 - 09:38
;-) I am in the process of working on something. It'll probably take a few more weeks, unless a writing-high hits me ;-) but I have to be patient with myself, because I haven't had much writing practice in over a year... We'll see what turns out. Thanks for your support.
Silver Spun Sand | October 22, 2012 - 12:16
I shall keep my fingers crossed for that 'high', Nathan;-)
sid | March 13, 2013 - 00:32
I found this really moving. It feels so full of love. I hope you will be posting more work soon, you've been away a long time
sid | March 13, 2013 - 00:32
I found this really moving. It feels so full of love. I hope you will be posting more work soon, you've been away a long time
Nathan Bednarek | March 18, 2013 - 18:03
hi Sid. It is very good to hear from you. Yes, I've been working on several things lately.It's a slow process, because I have a very busy life and when I and my wife do get time off we make sure to spend time with each other. Not easy... But I will try soon.
Thank you for your lovely comment.
All the best,
Nathan.