It’s the first Saturday of the Olympics and the
pollen shoots into the heart of my immunity like
V2’s yet it’s odd how the more my nose pours
words snatches of lyrics ping-pong around my
crater-box-brain but who wants to watch table
-tennis when you can flinch at two Austrian’s
trying to anchluss their way through the Murray
brothers Andy is still fighting his opponents and
demons so hard it amazes me the will of instinct
so Kurt’s here is he vomiting his deviant twisted
thoughts into the atmosphere where they coagulate
into something so beautiful only the scared
scarred can comprehend I curse my fucking so
-called creativity which robs me of any
normality shit Andy wears that dark look the I
will not tolerate sub-standard serves face that
prompts him to throw his racket across the court
you can tell he wants to target Jamie’s thick
skull hold tight Andy beware of no love lost
thank God for Danny Boyle’s images which spear
sporadically through the tennis I loved it when
the boy looked at Johnny brave to go underground
and not care what society wants except yes we do
need Attlee’s NHS which we should be so proud of
don’t you dare fuck with it you bastards
in a useless wavering coalition then a quick
snatch of London Calling but blink and Amy has
vanished again so back to Wimbledon and Jamie’s
serve still doesn’t stand up to the better
brother’s scrutiny so I sing Jamie Jamie Jamie
you know I’ve been here before but he doesn’t of
course it’s Amy who knows what becomes before and
after it all Christ I’ve collapsed onto the bed
so exhausted with so many events taking place
simultaneously now I’m gazing at the ceiling like
Polly Harvey under ether the snot lashes down the
my throat like lava it scalds so show me the way
to the next whisky bar because a different
Polly’s back hurts she’s just as bored as me but
that bit’s bollocks I feel more of a nauseous
numbness yet my hands tingle with panic it’s my
heart careering thumping around like a boxing
match when I try to disentangle myself from
straight-jacket sheets I’m feverish wet and am
losing my body heat the cassette plays poptones
whilst I write with that sick compulsion I only
stop to piss sneeze wheeze weigh myself drink
more coffee so jittery sick with adrenaline and
fear someone help I know I am losing control fast
sanity sifts sand-like through my fingers as
rapidly as Ian’s shadow faded he never made it to
27 yet Amy may be drawn to him because she too
gave them what they wanted she let them use her
for their own ends but she has found someone else
who knows he’s no good she launches a package
fastened with a heart-shaped hair-grip with
Kurt’s name on when he peels back the layers he
finds warm milk and laxatives ah sweet erratic
Amy is just a lost little girl who can’t keep
still though one flutter from huge bat-winged
eyes may be enough to re-ignite Jim’s smouldering
embers into that bright burning fire he yearns
for but don’t forget Jimi he’d wear Amy well he
knows this is a golden soul-girl yeah he did that
thing through his guitar he beckons to her
through a fluorescent purple haze so which bad
boy path does she choose when she knows damn well
that as she canters spindly legs teetering in
fuck-me pumps down her lane crazy tumbledown hair
flying it will be the wrong track love is always
a losing game she runs petrified she will be left
to wake up alone facing her black so on the floor
by her feet there still sits that infamous bottle
well today seems to be all loss and the lost
losers are probably cowards they don’t deserve
medals maybe Sunday I can revive a bit of the
dead in me tomorrow tomorrow will never belong to
people like us will it?
The following people moistened my dry cracked brain with bits of inspiration in their own way (all apologies for misinterpretations, misquotes and typos); Andy and Jamie Murray, Kurt Cobain (RIP), Danny Boyle, Tony Parsons and Julie Burchill, The Clash, the late, great Labour leader Clement Attlee, Ian Curtis (RIP), Polly Harvey, Paul Weller, John Lydon, Jim Morrison (RIP), Jimi Hendrix (RIP), Muse, Jeff Buckley (RIP), the Cocteau Twins and the incredible, unique Amy Winehouse (RIP). Last but not least this is also a tribute to my great Mum who is thankfully still alive and creating but is also nearly as bonkers as me.
Comments
skinner_jennifer | July 30, 2012 - 18:18
This is such a profound piece of writing, very
well thought out and how you put this together
I really don't know.
I think you have loads of talant and I found
this very inspiring, since you have written about
all the artists that I love.
All I can say is...Brillllliant!
Jenny.
seashore | July 30, 2012 - 18:24
Worth the wait and then some!!
insertponceyfre... | July 30, 2012 - 20:19
I agree with the others. Wonderful the way it just all tumbles down the page. Welcome back!
Overthetop1 | July 30, 2012 - 20:38
Jenny you are such a treasure to say such positive things. I must admit I sweated blood and got awful ABC OCD over it. It came quickly but I kept going back and tinkering until I was sick of the sight of it and completely lost perspective - thinking no-one will get such a mad rant! Thanks for proving me wrong &really interestingto know you like the same people as me. No wonder you & I click!
Overthetop1 | July 30, 2012 - 20:44
Thanks so much Seashore. I always greatly appreciate input from someone with such superb mastery over your work.
Insert so nice to see you under my strange piece. I am over the moon with your comments, which, coming from you, must mean it really is ok. Are you sure there are no typos?
ED thanks for the Cherry - it means such a lot to me.
hudsonmoon | July 30, 2012 - 23:21
Good to see you back on board. You've been missed. You sure made up for lost time. It's soulful, scatter-brained and wonderful. And the presentation was very winning, as well.
Rich
Silver Spun Sand | July 31, 2012 - 09:04
Mindblowingly amazing...OTT;-)
Tina
Overthetop1 | July 31, 2012 - 10:48
Hi Rich and thanks so much for comments. Missed you too but just had a break as couldn't write a word for months. Scatter-brained and soulful is what I wanted, but hadn't got a clue how it came across - so I really value your feedback.
Overthetop1 | July 31, 2012 - 10:51
Hi Tina how nice to see you in my neck of the woods. Coming from such a great writer - I treasure your feedback. Really glad it worked for you. Funnily enough as I wrote it I rembered your wonderful poem `Back to Black'.
jolono | July 31, 2012 - 14:59
How the hell did I miss this, oh yes I remember now, glued to the box watching sports that I don't understand and will probably never watch again until four years time then get all excited by them again!
Anyway, I thought this was brilliant, well done OTT.
Overthetop1 | July 31, 2012 - 17:45
Thanks very much Jolono. Felt very strange Saturday -brain irritatingly over-active so just bunged all my random thoughts down. Fine but then terrible ABC OCD as couldn't leave it alone.
Me too re the Sport. Didn't think i'd be glued to the box watching wierd sports too. Can anyone possibly enlighten me re the footie. What criteria is used for inclusion? Giggs, Bellamy and some other
players randomly shoved together by old psycho. Very puzzling. Maybe they arebeing punished by making the mistake of saying they would be up for it. Very strange.
tcook | August 1, 2012 - 17:35
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Overthetop1 | August 1, 2012 - 18:26
Oh wasn't expecting that! Thanks so much ed.
sue dinum | August 1, 2012 - 21:19
I thought this was absolutely brilliant, OTT, and reinforces my belief... the better the prose, the less punctuation needed, and you, my dear, needed none - one stonking, perfect sentence... job done! I loved it, great achievement, your piece is a true tour de force and I congratulate you on it... and on your cherries, and being Pick of the Day, etc. etc. etc.
Blimey, talk about coming back with a bang..!
Fab!
Trev
Overthetop1 | August 2, 2012 - 02:18
Dear Trev - you always write such wonderful comments and I know you mean them - because I know you never compromise - and I try not to - which is why we always seem to click. You make me so glad that I finally took the plunge and posted what I thought was incomprehensible and over - indulgent crap!
Thanks so so much.
sue dinum | August 2, 2012 - 19:04
That's very nice of you, OTT. I always try to be honest and where a piece is as good as yours is, it deserves anybody's time. Incomprehensible? Never! Over indulgent? Why not, when you can do it as well as this. Glad you think we click, I take that as a great compliment... I feel it too.
Trev