One Legged Lust

I had a friend who used a whore
He said her name was Meg
It only cost him 5 per time
Because she’d just one leg.
I said “But is it not quite strange
To pay to shag a cripple?”
And he said “I barely notice mate –
I focus on the nipples!
She could have a metal ankle
And I guess I wouldn’t care
Just as long as from the pelvis up
The vital stuff was there!”
I asked him where’d he’d picked her up
How did they ever meet
If she only had a single leg
With which to walk the streets?
He said “Fool! I used the interweb
I found her on the net!
On a site called ‘Always Willing!
Always Paid For! Always Wet!’
I MSN’d her straight away
Then SMS’d her phone
And now I pay her 5 a time
To give the dog a bone!”
Well I looked at him, this friend of mine
Who’d always seemed so sane
And a gradual revulsion
Spread right through me like a stain.
For I know I’m probably out of step
With Post-Two-Thousand-Bloke
But the thought of paying whores for sex
Just makes me want to choke
And the thought of that poor cripple
With her single, lonely thigh
Being forced to shag for money -
Well it made me want to cry.
So I lashed right out and punched my friend
And knocked him to the floor
And I yelled “That shagging cripples lark?
That’s not for you no more!”
Then I took a firm and steady aim
And launched a mighty kick
And my steel capped boot flew straight and true
And pulverised his dick.