Grandmither wiz 16, fan she hid my Daa
Noo A'm 14, and ma stomach's like a baa..
Ma says am awfa fat and banned me fae the chippy
Da's teen awa ma phone and chucked oot a ma lippy
Dis onybidy ken yet?
Has naebody worked it oot?
It's six months since a shagged him and surely there's nae doot?
Ma wiz jist 15, fan she wiz up the duff wi me
A night at Torry battery, wi her best mate's brither Lee
They didnae use a johnny, they didnae see fit why
He telt her he would pull it oot but fa ken't he wid lie?
Dis onybidy ken yet?
Has naebody worked it oot?
It's six months since a shagged him and surely there's nae doot?
Ma pal Shyanne's nae spicking, she says he wiz her lad
I said I didnae ken 'at, but noo I feel quite bad
I'm gan to hae his baby, his name is Scotty D
I met him at the carnies, doon aside the sea
Dis onybidy ken yet?
Has naebody worked it oot?
It's six months since a shagged him and surely there's nae doot?
Scotty says it's nae his so I texted to his Ma,
She freaked right oot, and did her nut and telt it ti his Da.
Scotty's Da nutted him and chucked him oot the hoose,
And then Scotty texted me ti say my fanny's really loose
A'bidy kens noo
A'bidy's worked it oot
It's six months since a shagged him and surely there's nae doot
Comments
russiandoll | February 22, 2012 - 13:25
Every year of primary school my kids take part in a Scot's Verse competition and various poems come home for practise, written mainly in Doric, about various topics ranging from a Heron in a burn to a sweetie in a shop window. Latterly we get a fair bit of Burns too, which makes a nice change. The weeks before the competition fill my head with 'fits' and 'ayes' and my husband I have a giggle making up some of our own poetry that isn't for the kids to recite ;)
So - just in case you were wondering - that's what inspired this poem!
Archie_Macjoyce | September 21, 2012 - 22:44
Wow, this deserves more comments, and a cherry. Fantastic use of language, rhyme and rhythm. I love the Lowland Scots language. There should be more good Scots poetry, like this.
russiandoll | September 21, 2012 - 23:39
Och Archie Macjoyce you wee darlin! Thanks for commenting and I'm glad you get it! Reading that back makes me miss Aberdeen and think of many a mad giggle with a friend who I still slip into doric with now and again - good times :))