I’m being beckoned by evangelists
They wear smiles that pity my path.
In tea dresses so pretty
And comfortable shoes
With soles that don’t talk about sex
But do talk about love
And comfort
And practicality
And handing over responsibility and credit
In their finest hour
To a higher power
And all of this, can be mine
They’re coming, from god,
To make my life better
I should ask for his love
Like a sweater
To keep me warm
And to guard me against everything he is not
Like armour
For there is so much to fear
Safer to be inside, frightened
Than to stand in the wind
With the sky in my hair
They say.
He’s sending them, and he knows, apparently,
That I know that he’s knocking at my door
They tell me stories of sorrow I don’t feel
And of an emptiness that is as real
As an imagination would need it to be
They’ve told me that my happiness is transparent
Like cling-film on a burn
There’s a pain underneath
Only they can see it, sense it and feel it
And, thank Christ! He can heal it.
And, more Good News!
For all the ills in me that they have found,
They have the cure!
By no other means can I repair
With my wayward thoughts
And my out loud laugh
All I need to do is submit
Believe
Sign the kids up to Sunday school
Let God in
And his son
And the prayer group
And the minister
And the bible study ladies
And an insignificant but pressing direct debit application
Boring paperwork!
But so convenient
With small print that’s not at all lenient
But which will make my heart sing
(Haven’t they heard me in the shower?)
I am told that soon after joining
My hitherto unmissed purpose will unfold
Like a picnic blanket and a hamper
The evangelists have come to reveal it
Or perhaps to steal it
And to tell me all the things about me
That fall short
Of all the things about them
Comments
russiandoll | February 22, 2012 - 13:16
I'm not at all sure how to punctuate this - if at all - any suggestions and advice much appreciated. Many thanks :)
scratch | February 22, 2012 - 18:19
Do you know what russinadoll? I'd leave it well alone. I wasn't at all distracted with the lack of punctuation (or minimal) punctuation. The rythm was unforced and I found my own pauses without any difficulty (and I have a small brain). Apart from this technicality issue I want to say how much I enjoyed the poem on show here! Well done.
russiandoll | February 22, 2012 - 21:22
Thanks for that Scratch, great to know that it reads well to you :))
russiandoll | February 22, 2012 - 22:59
Thanks for the cherries abctales :))))))))
Highhat | February 22, 2012 - 23:25
I enjoyed it very much RD- well said
;)Pia
russiandoll | February 23, 2012 - 00:17
Thank you Pia - it was very cathartic to write and has helped me consolidate my thoughts on a few experiences. Appreciate your comment :)
blighters rock | February 23, 2012 - 01:09
Just don't fill in the direct debit, for Chrissake.
I agree with Scratch.No need to touch this. Lovely grub.
russiandoll | February 23, 2012 - 11:33
Lol thx Blighters :) I mistakenly read your comment as 'don't fill in the direct debit for cheesecake' !! That was hard for me, cause I will pretty much do anything for any cake ;) thx for feedback, appreciated very much :)
Silver Spun Sand | February 23, 2012 - 11:59
Wonderful writing, and I so agree with scratch about the punctuation. In all honesty, I read it, loved it, and it's only now, reading the comments, I realised it had little or no punctuation, so I guess that speaks for itself.
Tina;-)
russiandoll | February 23, 2012 - 14:37
Aw brilliant, thx so much for that Tina :)) x
gerardineanne | February 23, 2012 - 17:21
This was a really good read,you don't need the punctuation.Made me laugh.I do hope it was supposed to!
I can see the dark side,of course,but some lovely comic moments.
Transparent happiness!You devil!
russiandoll | February 23, 2012 - 17:35
Lol I'm thrilled it made you laugh gerardineanne! Absolutely the intention and hope so thx for your comment, much appreciated :))
scoot | March 6, 2012 - 13:21
enjoyed this, the way of it and the sentiment. the occasional rhyming line was a nice touch :)
Karen
russiandoll | March 9, 2012 - 13:01
Thank you Karen, comment very much appreciated :)
Christine (not verified) | March 9, 2012 - 17:38
Just spotted this. Love it. Lots of enjambment so not much need for punctuation. One piece of advice - RUN!
russiandoll | March 9, 2012 - 17:52
Many thanks Christine :) and LOL!!
Enjambment you say.... new word on me! Off to look up!