Out For Blood 27


from the ABC set OFB

Just then Vicky started screaming, both Gregg and Jill did a double-take then ran into the station room. As they got there Vicky was continually shouting for Jill, Hal was still sitting on the bench, covering his ears shouting for her to, ‘Shut the fuck up!’

Vicky was already stood at the front of the cell holding the bars, it was the furthest point from Hal she could find. Her top lip looked swollen and the blood from her nose had congealed but was still catching the light, her left eye had begun to blacken and the cut below it looked deeper because of that.

She saw Jill with the man from the other cell but didn’t register anything other than the words she wanted to say. ‘Get me the fuck out of here Jill.’

Jill moved up to the bars and put her hands on Vickys’ hands. ‘Are you okay?’ she said.
Vicky nodded then spoke softly. ‘But you’ve got to get me out of here!’

Jill looked down at their hands whilst she thought.

Then looking up and over Vickys' left shoulder she saw the cattle-prod under the bench. ‘Avez-vous encore à vous souvenir de votre cours de français? (‘Do you still remember your French classes?’)

Vicky looked slightly puzzled. ‘Oui, pourquoi?’ (‘Yes, why?)
‘Then trust me Vicky.’ Jill said simply.

Hal looked up at hearing the foreign language but didn’t bother to stop them. His priority was formulating an escape plan of his own, and it looked like it was just starting to come together.

Gregg was searching the drawers of the desk looking for a flashlight, he realised the French was a ploy to keep Hal out of the loop. But Gregg was Italian and understood no French; he too was out of the loop.

Taking Gregg by the hand Jill pulled him back into the courtroom, she needed to explain what she had in mind to get Vicky out of the cell without risking Hal getting free. After listening to what she had to say Gregg was totally convinced... it would not work. But right now it was the only thing they had.

They returned to the station room where Jill began to hatch her plan.

Gregg opened the wooden cupboard by the station door, inside it were some blankets, an empty green plastic first-aid box and three flashlights, he tried each one of the flashlights but none of them worked, he then closed the cupboard and moved back to the desk.

Jill stood by the cell and spoke to Vicky. ‘Vicky, ne regarde pas rond, gardez les yeux sur moi.’ (‘Vicky, don’t look round, keep your eyes on me.’)
Vicky nodded slowly.

Jill carried on. ‘Sous le banc derrière vous est le bétail prod.’ (‘Under the bench behind you is the cattle prod.’) ‘Quand je reçois le gros gars de venir en barres.’ (‘When I get the big guy to come to the bars.’) ‘L’obtenir et l’utiliser sur lui.’ (‘Get it and use it on him.’) ‘Quand il redescend, Nous allons obtenir votre liberation.’ (‘When he’s down, we’ll get you out.’)

Vicky again nodded slowly, and then backed up until she felt the bench hit the back off her knees; she then sat down in the corner furthest from Hal.

Now all Jill had to do was get Hal over to the front of the cell. She gave Gregg the nod who then walked up and stood right behind her, he then put his hands in his jacket pockets and felt Jills' rapid breathing and heartbeat. Feeling his hands on her sides Jills’ eyes widened with valid apprehension.

Gregg held his lips close to her ear. ‘Don’t worry… just getting my gun.’ he said softly, and then concealing it behind his back he sat on the edge of the desk.

Outside it was still at gale force, and the night had almost submitted to the first light of day.

Jill was stood mid way between the desk and the cells, she folded her arms and slouched on her left leg with her head titled to the right, she was just about to grab Hals’ attention when the station room door flew open once more.

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Comments

Dynamaso | June 20, 2008 - 06:27

Arrghhh, you can't leave me hanging like this... This is really taut, mate. Maybe the suspense might be even higher if you didn't expose the English translations. Just a thought...

sabital | June 20, 2008 - 13:38

Hello again Dynamaso, the way the story unfolds doesn't allow for later translation. Had it been only one or two lines (as you will see in an up and coming post) then I would totally agree with you. However, I felt the reader really needed to know exactly what Jills' plan was, and the cliff-hanger leaves them suspended... will it succeed or fail? I feel leaving all that dialogue untranslated may have confused the reader and spoilt the continuity for him/her.
Here's a little heads-up... Those of you that have read the first few posts of OFB should remember why Hals' plan of escape is now beginning to come together!!!

Songmakers_Cry | July 20, 2008 - 01:29

I absolutely hate (and sometimes love) cliffhangers.