Barn Owl

Wow, scratch...love this poem;-)

I admire all the stanzas, and the wonderful imagery and alliteration therein, but the one I like most is the penultimate stanza:-

"You keep the hearts and blood, but spit the
spirit cocoons of bones and so many tiny,
empty chest cages; they lie on the charnel
floor, amongst scurrying squeaks, safest
next to the executioner; you turn again
to the moon-silvered clouds tossed sailing
in the ocean sky"

We have owls round here, and am always finding remnants of their nights' feastings. This sums it up beautifully.

This stanza came close second:-

"Laughing moon-shadowed lantern,
hanging high in the broad chest of
the crook-boned rib cage of ancient ash,
beating in the broad chest of the yawning
silence."

Great poem. Wonderfully atmospheric.

Tina;-)

Many many thanks for the read and the kind comment Tina. It is always appreciated, especially so with this one.

Oh, yeah! Mate this is great! the imagery is truly fantastic; and beautifully Gothic in its concept. Owls having a resonance with death and the spirit world. very, very clever; and starkly beautiful too... That, for me is Gothic perfection... For me Poetry is magical when its spoken, so I spend time feeling the words...(that makes me sound like some sort of arty farty git who spends his time reading neo realist novels and looking down his nose at people over my signed editorial copy of the daily mail...but its not true... I read the mirror... and I hate neo realism.)
from reading the first stanza to the last I was totally hooked with its emotion and its feel... Bloody (and I'd underline that if I could.) good job.
I'd give a stanza breakdown, but I am very, very tired...

Thanks for your kind words on my latest effort... I might work on it. it depends how I feel, and my emotions are still strange...I slip between laughter and buckets of tears and heart pound terror and lust... Mostly I am sad... I doubt I'll be really happy again.

I have come to accept that there are some things that you never get over and recover from; that acceptance is in a way a solace of itself.

Hi Scratch. Wonderfully written and deeply descriptive poem. I love the way 'the barn owl' is portrayed in stanza 4, very powerful within its own world. 'Softer than cats toes and babies hair' Great line here. Well done Mike

Many thanks for you read and comment Mike, it is very much appreciated.

As you requested, Scratch. This poem is an explosion of feathery attributes, like lightning bolts expanding in all directions. Your descriptions are wonderful. I enjoyed reading your poem. Richard LP

Many thanks for your read and comment Richard. Most appreciated. It's interesting, feathers are never mentioned only alluded to and I think that because of that I take a second plus from your thoughtful review. :-))

Ive come back again because its very good, and I am a little more awake. I really like the imagery here:

"Laughing moon-shadowed lantern,
hanging high in the broad chest of
the crook-boned rib cage of ancient ash,
beating in the broad chest of the
yawning silence."

which is so hauntingly beautiful; what I see is a huge bird beating through the tree while a new moon is rising in the background.

Stanza three is full of very well woven alliterations, that flow well when spoken aloud. I have to say Scratch, I have no Idea why this hasn't been cherried, because it definitely deserves one.

have a wonderful weekend. I gotta go... kids screaming...

Thanks for your return alpha :-)

I agree with Alphadog- this is very Gothic- like others of your poems Scratch- so atmospheric- excuse me but isn't it cat's paws ?- I have never heard of cat's toes- but then I am ignorant at times.. but I know the softness you describe.. a wonderfully expressive poem..

;)Pia

Thanks Pia, fair comment. I wanted to give the feel of soft/hard and I thought that the idea of cats toes did it. I think cats do have toes, you just have to feel around for them.

Thanks for stopping by. :-)

Hi Scratch,
I am commenting a bit late.I did not miss your poem,but have been thinking about it.
I love the last three stanzas,in particular,full of your usual brilliance.

Thank you so much gerardineanne.

Great poem as always, Scratch. Such brilliant images and phrases that work on so many levels. And an ingenious word choice. It captures the mystery of the whole thing. Well done.

Nice one Stan. Really appreciate your kind words and support. Thanks for reading with such acuity (same to all commenters by the way). Yes there are different levels of operation here as in most of my poetry. Thanks again.

Don't know what you are on mate, but send me some. This is a brilliant piece of work. (as always)!!

Nice one Tarquin, massive thanks for the comment and the support. As always it is most appreciated matey, a big smile on my face :-))

Hi. As usual if you are here and wouldn't mind, please post a comment. Comments are the oxygen of creative development. I have benefited hugely from all the members here and I hope to continue to improve with time. Thanks.

Well, who would've thought a poem about catching, killing and eating little mices could be so full of wonderful wordplay and imaginative imagery? This, I believe, is what you excel at. Always a pleasure discovering something new from the Scratch stable. Hope you're well, big fella, and staying away from those football hooligan terrible twins lavadis and blighters.

Sure will Peskmeister they're nuthin but trouble those two :-))

Many thanks for stopping by and of course for the comment, always good to hear from you.

Cheers.

Scratch, I missed this. Am I seeing a fascination with birds here. Magpie, Peregrine and now Barn Owl!

I loved Magpie and Peregrine but have to say that Barn Owl for me is the best yet.

The choice of words is superb, it gave such great imagery. Too many good bits to go through. As I was reading it, I was seeing it as well.

Fantastic.

Big thanks to you jolono for the read and the kind comments. I really can't tell you how much that means to me.

I know you have always been kind enough read my efforts and your observations have been made with such acuity. This always encourages me. Often my confidence hits rock bottom and it is feedback and encouragement that lifts my spirits enough to try again.

Yes, no doubt that you have spotted a bird theme unfolding here. I have a few feathered miles to go yet, so expect some more avian adventures!

Thank you.

Ooops, sorry double post.

Hi scratchy, yes a remarkable piece of work that for some reason put me in mind of one of my heroes - Dylan Thomas. I think most of the things have been said in the comments above and I can only echo them. Every stanza's a winner, babe - that's the truth!

sue

Nice one sue. I am about one third the way through your latest, as usual it's shaping up to be excellent!

Love the use of compound nouns in this scratch, "crook-boned", "moon-silvered". I wrote a whole essay on the use of compounding in Old English poetry last year, and this takes me back. You should read a translation of 'The Seafarer' - this is very reminiscent of it!

Magic xxx

I know this poetry from my own first time at Uni' I had never thought of the connection in terms of the similarity that you have suggested with my poem here. But I am glad that you were minded of one with the other. Thank you for reading and letting me know.

Great work as ever Scratch - loved Softer than cats toes and babies hair and You keep the hearts and blood, but spit the
spirit cocoons of bones and so many tiny,
empty chest cages

lovely alliteration, reminds me a bit of Simon armitages Sir Gawain and the Green night, beautiful gory use of words

Thankyou both very much indeed.

Lavadis, I must say that I was happy with that simile regarding cats toes etc so I am really pleased that you picked it as a good bit. :-)

The Other,to put me in the company that you suggest is praise indeed. And the alliteration on the 's' weaves through and I do feel pleased with its effect on the whole atmosphere of the piece.

Thank you both once again for your reading and kind observations.

Something has just occurred to me. Is 'babies' correct or should it be 'baby's'?

I think it should be "baby's" Scratch..but it could be plural as well- Maybe it doesn't really matter. Singular or plural?

;)Pia

This is such a brilliant poem scratch, it made me
read and re-read, one of those poems that you see
something different each time you delve deeply into
the words.

It's a poem that needs to be read out loud, to
really appreciate it. I think Richard Burton would
have read it well, I agree with sue, it put me in
mind of Dylan Thomas too.

Someone of Welsh descent would be ideal, for reading
this master piece.

Thankyou for sharing this beauty.

Jenny.

Thanks Pia. I'll take some comfort from your advice. If it's ok both ways then that is a bonus :-)

Sometimes you look at a spelling (and it could be a simple word) and the more you look at it the less obvious the spelling becomes! Thanks for the 'heads up'.

Massive thanks to you Jenny for your comment it has made my day.

I think you have spotted that there are different levels of operation taking place within this one, there is a lot going on. I hope of course that no matter what else, the poetry should distill the essence of a Barn Owl and give the reader as vibrant and vivid a picture that can be given (I'm not saying that I have achieved this but it was my intention to work towards this goal).

I wholeheartedly agree with your comment about poetry being read out loud and that some pieces especially lend themselves to this. I always read poems out loud (I often get funny looks :-) ! But I don't care!!!

Thank you for your time to read and supportive comments.

Great use of language in this. It is rich and intriguing!

Many thanks Hilary.

new Scratch
Just looked in no glasses yet?
Couldn't stop reading.
This wonderful descriptive poem,
full of so much images,colours and wonders.
And the story involved. Are feathered friend's.
Beautiful! like bit about cat's toes,mad me smile,
I didn't know either! just put tip butter on neighbour's cat's paw! always here in love comfort,
not well,waits for me! Antics. I chat! he is beautiful! and cries back in or out!
Put one finger utterly butterly on,one chocolate spread,sniff! goes for? Utterly butterly,turns his head,if no more it's only tip of the funger!
Definitely you should have a cherry! for this poem on Barn Owls. So interesting.
Come to "The Wheatsheaf" London ask if you can read your poem! Next time Never know you might!
julie xx

What incredible comments and very very well deserved. I really liked
A thurible smoke wisp of stealth, stalking,
stealing along the verge arteries;

Thanks Lavadis.

still no cherry for bloody beautiful poem. seriously sad about this. Hope your well scratch... life is unravelling for me at the moment. so my work is becoming fractured. And it doesn't help I am having to analyse S. Heaney. and his beautiful play burial at thebes... I know he'd hate my work, and my essay in particular. where am I going wrong... I follow the muse when it hits me but it all sounds like the tormented rants of an over weight undersexed undervalued unwanted man who likes looking at his own vomit.

Alpha,

Yes I must admit to a little disappointment at the lack of red things (see, I can't even bring myself to utter their name!) for this one. Then again I've had some accolades as well, so, rough with the smooth eh?

Your comment as to the beauty of the poem means so much more to me anyway!

If the great man read your work and didn't think that it was top drawer I for one would be amazed. You write superbly well - there's no question about that, period.

Sorry to hear of your difficulties at the moment. For what my advice is worth just keep going until the corner is turned.

Thanks for dropping by. I am a new father and simply put this is the first thing that I have written for weeks.

may you have many more. but make the time between them long... believe me... three girls within six years is a handful... If I had my way I'd double cherry this. just to prove a point. :) have a great weekend.

Hello Scratch, congratulations on the new addition, great to see you back on such fine form. I am also surprised at the lack of 'red things,' this is a beautiful, striking piece of work.
In the second stanza, the line;
'the crook-boned rib cage eves of ancient ash,'
If I am right in thinking you are referring to structure here then I reckon it's spelt 'eaves.' But maybe I am interpreting it wrongly.
I've often been swooped over by a barn owl when walking the dog in the early evening, it's always a spellbinding experience and you have put it into words perfectly. Thanks for a brilliant read

Sid,

Thanks for stopping by and for the comment. My new baby is fast asleep and I just stopped by for a quick look.

You are right of course. "Eves" (sic) should be 'eaves'. It is a reference to a barn where the owl lives. The 'ancient ash' is the frame of the building.

I will ammend it straight away and many thanks for pointing it out.

Thanks again.

I was hoping I hadn't misinterpreted because I love the idea of the 'rib-cage' of a building, and also how you link it to the little bones of the owl's quarry, 'those tiny vaulted cages.' And I really like
'clutching another tiny heart, its
beat still echoing your own.'
Brilliant stuff. Hopefully the tidal wave of admiration for this piece outweighs its lack of red-coloured clip-art. I have noticed several fine pieces slip through the net; perhaps some days there is just too much for the eds to get through

Thanks Sid. Yes, your interpretation is spot on and I can quite see how my silly misspelling would distract. Many thanks for reading with such insight and for bringing the spelling to my attention.

I tried to build several resonance's into this poem, hearts, execution, resurrection, redemption, forgiveness, omnipotence etc. Anyway I am so glad that you stopped by and were supportive and complimentary. Often my self confidence plunges, and it is because of people like you that encourages me to give it another go.

Well, what a great surprise to come home to. Thanks to the ed's (whoever you are) for picking my poem; I'm bloody chuffed.

Thank you.

Scratch this is a great piece "softer then cats toes and babies hair" A fantastic choice of words and imagery. You deserve all the praise you're getting for it.

My thanks to you Shades for stopping by and of course for your lovely supportive comment. There's a big smile on my face :-)

I've only just noticed the belated cherry for this one, scratch. It really did make my day;-)

Tina

Thanks Silver - it made mine too! :-)

.

The obvious craft in this poem meant the cherry was inevitable. As someone (above) said, the eds have an lot to read so may take a day or two... but the good stuff is acknowledged.
Well done and thanks for taking the time to read a couple of mine.

Thank you for the kind reciprocation Frances.

about time :) but I have been busy. :) hope your Easter was better then mine :)

this is about time, but I have been busy. :) I hope your Easter was better then mine :) gotta go, kids...

This is a very intriguing piece. In my mind-altered condition, I recognize intelligence but I don't know what to make of it.

Hi Sean. I thinks that means that you like it ;-))

There is a lot going on here, no doubt about it. Some themes that are there.

Faithfulness and Faith

Resurrection

Dependency and love etc.

But still, above all else you should get the essence and distillation of the Barn Owl. For me the first thing that I consider when reading any poem is not so much its understadability but the selection and the quality of the poetic voice. I let the language inform me and then take it from there. I hope that helps Sean, and many thanks for the read and the comment.

Amazing imagination, scratch. I feel like I've just woken from being in your dream. Brilliantly rendered.

Massive thanks to you Parson Thru. I am so glad that you like it, thanks for taking the time to read and to post.

Thanks for the poem.

wonderful, those tiny vaulted cages...

Thanks Jennifercrane, your read and comment is valued.

/:-)

Enjoyed all of this but what a great ending.
I noticed that you posted it as a love poem, and from the way that it's written that is just the place for it to be.

Another fine poem, scratch, and I raise my paw to you.

Bear

Thanks Bear, I appreciate your comment.

I don't have the vocabulary to tell you just how much l adore your words xx

Hello Scratch,

Thank God you put in a lift else I never would get back up there. Blimey if I'd known I would have to come this far down...I just hope I don't get the bends.

Anyway, just wanted to say I loved this, didn't understand it but loved it just the same. No, I did understand some of it but so much goes over my head.

Particularly liked the opening line
'Golden ghost-galleon wind bodied,
tossed on a silent sea of night between
the diamond studded crown and thorns as well as
'Four hearted spirit, seeing through amber
globed jellies; pools of secrets framed in a
gilded heart, clutching another tiny heart, its
beat still echoing your own.' Got it...Jellies=Eyes? Hope so if not whoops!

Moya

You got it Moya - in one dear girl!

denni1, thank you for stopping by and for the lovely comment. And sorry for forgetting my manners and taking so long to acknowledge you brill' comment.

;7)

I have not read too many poems here,but ,to me, this is the best so far. Animals are always interesting.Unlike cars, lakes ,or trees { which are beautiful } animals make you feel connected to a world spirit, the environment.
Pat a horse on the head and you feel better. Top predators are especially interesting. We are in the same club.People only dream of flying- unassisted by mechanical means. Sharks hold people's interest.Killer whales-Moby Dick etc.

Thanks for stopping by world'.

My dear poet, what can I say about this piece that has not already been said, to offer a critique worthy enough of your poem! I remember your passion for birds and this poem of the Barn Owl translates your very own relationship with them, your deep understanding of them.
From the opening line, the first few words to the last, you have encapsulated the very essence of this creature... physical, behavioural, mythical and effectual. There are too many descriptives to choose a favourite from, a deluge of imagery that brings this bird to life and fly off the page into my imagination, my heart. I feel a huge sense of mortality in this poem, the links between survival and the sacrifice of what sustains it are beautifully woven into the soul of this incredible write. Thank you for sharing such a moving piece.

Thank YOU San!

( wish l could write like comments like that ) Dx

You do so just by reading with your heart, dear poet friend.

I do?? Aww .. thank you xx