Magpie

Well I think it's excellent, really gutsy, not one redeeming feature - the Magpie of course.

Thanks Florian.

Paints a vivid picture. My choice for POW. (Not that my choice counts for anything!)

FP

Thankyou. I really appreciate your time.

Scratch.

I'm looking for more feedback, waiting you guys...

Loved the descriptive:

"Like dinner-suited Bullingdon bullies
You go mob-handed, garrulous
In crombies and spats and loiter, friendless
Like hunched-shouldered henchmen."

I guess even humanity in some form has to do nature's dirty deeds. i remember my afternoons, home from school in time for the signature tune of "Magpie"
"1 for sorrow" is that right?
All in all a damn fine read.

Bang on the money Stevehawk.

I think this is very very well written indeed and you are a talented poet. If I have one minor issue and this is down to my own limitations, I don't want to have to look up references - I don't know what Bullingdon bullies are and I do not know who Edward Teach is despite being reasonably well read. If you make the references more accessable then you will appeal to a wider audience but fantastic first poem.

Thanks Lavadis. I am delighted to hear from you. Many thanks for your comments they are much appreciated.

I am reluctant to do as you ask because a good poem will answer all its own questions. I really do agree with your observations though, it is something that I will think about for the future.

I read a lot of poems that I don't understand. Some are good and others are not, it is not the understandability that sways me but the poetic language - if I can't understand it then I look again at the poetic language and then let that inform me. I hope that that makes sense!

Many thanks once again.

Scratch.

I'm not keen on the stanza set up or the capitals at the beginning of each line but I get the references (and i have a tiny brain) and overall think this is damn fine.

Wow, great! Would love to see some more :)

So fancy pango got his/her wish and it's Poem of the Week as well as our Facebook and Twitter pick of the day.

Join us on Facebook at ~ABCtales.com

Join us on Twitter @tcookabctales

Get a great reading recommendation most days.

Magpies seem to be a preoccupation with a lot of poets at this present time. I wonder why? Well worth persuing after reading this, thank you.

Thanks Fatboy74,

I totally agree with your format observations. I will take this into account - it is something that I have been wrestling with.

This is my first ever posting and I am delighted of course to receive such positive feedback.

Kindest regards,

Scratch.

Dear blighters rock,

I am really delighted that you like the poem. Your feedback is a real fillip for a first timer. Yes those bankers need to be exposed, nudging poetry is perhaps a good way to do it eh?

Kind regards,

Scratch.

PS I love "black-suited sky rats" - lovely!

Hi Mazrilin,

Hmmmmm - I wonder why too? You go for it - it's open season on those "black suited sky rats" as (I think) Fatboy74 so eloquently put it!

Kind regards,

Scratch.

Sorry - credit blighters rock for "Black-suited sky rats"

Apologies.

Corvines are smart enough not to read, but I'm sure if they did they'd like this. Well done.

Thanks celticman.

tcook,

As a first timer I am delighted- truly delighted and very surprised.

Kind regards,

Scratch.

Great stuff - love the image of the bird in crombiie and spats - perfect. Agree about formatting too btw.

Edward Teach or Blackbeard as many knew him better was reputed to be the most Blood thirsty Pirate who ever sailed the seven seas, The Bullingdon Club is a socially exclusive student dining club at Oxford University. The club has no permanent rooms and is notorious for its members' wealth and the ease in which they frequently get into scrapes ?. C Pearson

OOps That was in answer to Lavadis how did it end up a comment on here Oh well I will know better in future .
Great Poem Scratch .

georgiablue
My first visit and my first read.
Sooo glad I found this site.
Class poem: what I like is the initial impact of the words singing in your head as you read it, then the unfurling of the meaning, layer upon layer, image upon image...
nuff said

My thanks for your comment Georgiablue. I hope that the site lives up to your expectations and I look forward to reading your work. I am a newbie here too- so we can learn together.

Kind regards,

Scratch.

Hello,

Thank you for reading. And well done for scrolling this far down. Given that you'r here, and if you can, post a comment if you have the time or the inclination.

Kind regards,

Scratch.

Seeing as you asked so nicely scratch, and as I've scrolled down soooo far....

I have said in one of my stories that I am not a poetic man and I stand by that, so I cannot offer any overly constructive feedback, but I really enjoyed your poem. I followed the imagery and references and thought they were beautifully constructed.

Not a bad first posting Scratch. I look forward to more.

Alex

Your time and effort is valued shep5377. I am really glad you enjoyed it.

My thanks to you.

Scratch.

As Promised Scratch I shall further comment on your really good poem. ( Oh Sorry FTSE ) Extremely well written poem.

I think your pop at the poor Magpie is a bit unfair, but other than that I loved it .

regards Clive

you have also reminded me of a pet I once had called Jackie, that I think deserves a short story lol .

Thanks for posting Clive.

Apologies to those of you who have not followed the recent topics forum... Clive, (re FTSE100's posts) sometimes the way messages are conveyed in asynchronous discussion is not representative of the true sentiments behind the original thoughts. It is difficult to convey (if not impossible) the nuance of thought that would ordinarily be apparent.

Thanks once again for posting,

Your time and effort is really appreciated,

Scratch.

Just wanted to say that this made my head hurt a little;

'Apologies to those of you who have not followed the recent topics forum... Clive, (re FTSE100's posts) sometimes the way messages are conveyed in asynchronous discussion is not representative of the true sentiments behind the original thoughts. It is difficult to convey (if not impossible) the nuance of thought that would ordinarily be apparent.'

I just trying to figure out what it means.....

;)

Shep,

Sorry about the mixed messages. This was a comment to Clive in light of a thread that raised some issues regarding commenting (and who should and who should not). I am still getting to grips with this place and have probably posted this message in the wrong area. Apologies to one and all for any confusion.

Scratch.

Dont worry, it wasn't a mixed message. I have been following the other thread you raised.

I was merely trying to be humourous (not my strong point obviously!) and it was a backhanded compliment to your very clever observations.

My fault!

Phew, that's ok then :). I suppose that these two last confirm that understanding this stuff is fraught with difficulties.

Scratch.

Hi Scratch

Fantastic, really well constructed... gritty and gutsy, and quite apt with what’s going on in the world today. Got to say I feel honoured that you took the time to comment on my post.

Kind regards

Mart (the murph)

Hi Scratch

Fantastic, really well constructed... gritty and gutsy, and quite apt with what’s going on in the world today. Got to say I feel honoured that you took the time to comment on my post.

Kind regards

Mart (the murph)

Hi Scratch

Fantastic, really well constructed... gritty and gutsy, and quite apt with what’s going on in the world today. Got to say I feel honoured that you took the time to comment on my post.

Kind regards

Mart (the murph)

The Murph,

Thank you so much for the supportive words, I am delighted that you read it and took the time to comment and of course also delighted that you liked it as-well!

Welcome to the site Mart the Murph – you are now well and truly up and running.

Scratch.

Hi scratch, so many comments. Very well done, and gongratulations on cherries too. I have taken a copy of your piece and will comment in full tomorrow - looks really good at first glance. Why have you stopped writing (or posting)?

sue

Sue, thank you,

I will post again soon.

Scratch.

BBC'S Giles Brandon commented today. deserve'd of a comment or two in the forums wouldn't you say Scratch .

Gosh?

lol

Fantastic. You've written a poem that would grace any collection. Well done.

Have you seen Hitchcock's The Birds? Don't worry about references - the more the merrier. Didn't stop Eliot did it?

Nice one mate

Cheers maudsey.

Really enjoyed this scratch, an original voice I’d wager. Love the way you see the world. Nice one!

sue

PS: Congratulations on the cherries - 1 shot, 1 hit,
(100%)

Thank you very much Sue - it can only go downhill from here....

Scratch.

I've posted this comment because I would feel bad if you didn't get to 50 comments.

So, Happy 50th. :)

You daft sod! LOL.

If you have just arrived here, please take the time to say hello

Hi Scratch - sorry I'm a bit late to the party. This is brilliant stuff - some really beautiful yet haunting imagery. I especially enjoyed this stanza:

"Like dinner-suited Bullingdon bullies
You go mob-handed, garrulous
In crombies and spats and loiter, friendless
Like hunched-shouldered henchmen."

Well done on the cherry and POTW and picks!

Magic xxx

Thanks Magic, I really do appreciate your time and effort.

Absolutely fantastic.

Hi scratch, finally got round to this and wish I'd got round to it before. I thought every stanza was worthy but I've picked out one that I particularly liked:

Each feather of yours a death medal
Tally for untold victims.
When you feast the flies weave
A gauze of noise around your table.

But it's a bit ubfair to pick one out because they were all so good. You really must allot more of your own time for doing your own thing... in other words, get with it and write some more. Really enjoyed.
Well deserved cherries.

Great stuff!

sue

Great work. Your metaphors grow with each splatter of words. RLP

Many thanks to you for stopping by and commenting Richard.

Bloody great, I loved the way you cleverly hinted at the magpie nursery rhyme and then went on a totally other tangent. and the below stanza, the second to last brings it right back to the rhyme once more.

"Then in an aviary made by a boy
An imprinted fledgling sits pied
on a bare, bleached, broken branch
Above egg shells and crap."

Its so clever and well drawn. Great work... keep scratching. the best scabs are those uncovered.

Great to hear from you alphadog1, and a great comment made with insight and thanks matey.

And all the scabs I have picked at have left a scar. I know I should leave it alone but I can't. Thanks for commenting.

I'm still scratching at them now (mostly on the top of my head).

Indrani Ananda

I have just read this, and am astounded at the way you can literally paint with the words. You seem to be able to create lifelike tableaux complete with sound effects. My favourite - "When you feast the flies weave a gauze of noise around your table," Absolutely the best graphic syntax I've come across for a long time.
Are you one of these people who possess Synaesthesia - that is an ability to see the colours of sounds or hear images, among a host of other attributes?

Indrani.

Thanks Indrani.

You write very rich poems. They are the kind that you have to think about. I absolutely love them but couldn't read a whole book at once.

I luv this bit
"Like hunched-shouldered henchmen"
have u noticed? everyone seems to like a birdie poem =-)

Thanks beaste. Yes birds are a real staple for me. But after my last one I thought I would have a bit of a genre change. Thanks for your read and of course the kind words.

Scratch,

What nonsense I said earlier. Of course I've read some of your stuff. As soon as I saw Peregrine listed I knew I had read some of your work. Who could forget 'Skylord cathedrals' Actually, I did, but re-read that poem and still thought it was great.

I also read Ode to my Grandfather but I have to admit I didn't understand all of it. Please excuse me but I am not a poet being bereft of a poetic soul.

However, I very much liked this one as all the time I was reading the words provided by you, they created an image of a magpie for me!

Thank you and what a long way down I've had to travel to post this comment. Hope I don't get a nose bleed going back up.

Moya

Hi scratch,

Well, I've been rummaging around in your archives, hope you don't mind, and felt I had to comment on this one, your first post I think.
A good take on the arrogant bird and enjoyed this all the way through, but what really took me was the sudden change of tone in the last stanza, ouch! that's a nail to the end of the poem. Blackbeard? A touch of brilliance bites in there!

Enjoyed this very much.

Bear

Scratch, looking through your back catalogue - of course I've found a gem on the first click.

As if enough people hadn't told you what classy writing this is ;) I have to say this is brilliant.

'When you feast the flies weave
A gauze of noise around your table.'

Of all the wonderful lines in the poem, I think this one tips it, just.

'dead-eye
Malevolence blues the hedge.'

And that one ain't half bad either! Great poem.

Thanks very much for the generous comment mate it's much appreciated.

:D