I will not stay tonight

Beautiful stuff Shirley, you capture the emotion and the tension perfectly. I particularly like the way you use the different forms of illumination, great idea.

David xx :--)

P.S. I would have been tempted to work the headlights of the bus into it somehow, but as we know I am yet to learn the concept of "less is more"

P.P.S. Are you sure I can't persuade you to stay (shhh)

My Darling, if you feel you can, do it! I wanted that too.

xx

P.S Lovely comment

I think that's a lovely comment too - you should definitely think again about staying, Shoe : )

phew, is it me or is it hot in here?

Sweetheart, assuming you were referring to the "P.S." and not the "P.P.S.", how does this look:

The only escape route is distance,
Luminox tells me, I can make the last bus.
From the back of the shelter, I can still see your window
Flickering blue, a beacon, a light,
The 256 swings the corner,
Blinding headlights cut through the night
An impenetrable wall of light a barrier between us
It passes, your room is in darkness
I am safe, tonight.

If, on the other hand, you were referring to the "P.P.S.", well ........

David xx :--)

yup, definitly hot in here!:~D

seriously, your addition is lovely and fits the poem perfectly, improves it in fact, I owe you one, xx

do you think the cherry fairy would mind if I changed it?

Hey Hot Stuff, you are too, too kind. I hope the cherry fairy doesn't mind, imagine the shame at causing someone to lose their cherry (ooh no Mrs) xx :--)

Wonderfully atmospheric poem, Shirley! I just love these lines:

'The curve of your shoulder in bas- relief.
The murmur of traffic competes with the rushing
of your blood in my ear, pressed against you.'

Beautiful and very well-deserving of a cherry ;)

Magic xxx

absolutely beautiful piece. for some reason i really like the syntax and flow of: "An irresistible force, a vortex,".
good write.

jason

Thanks Magic, the traffic line is one of my favourites too,

Thanks Jason, really pleased you both found something to like,

I also really enjoyed this, its beautiful. I especially liked the second stanza.

Beeme xx

Thanks Beeme, glad you like this,:~}