So...come on. I’m waiting. Not got
too much time. Where’s the truth
behind the premise – life will flash
before my eyes?
The hell with this dying thing!
“Say, you up there! I’ve changed
my mind.”
It’s not supposed to be like this;
not quite like this.
I’m supposed to remember my first love,
my first kiss; the day we climbed
to the top of Ben Lomond and the world
went away.
Or that night we sat by the Indian Ocean –
the Hilton, no less, at Fujairah and heard
the cicadas sing and then fell asleep
till sunrise.
Only now, I swim home. It is not
your hands I see come to rescue me;
it is that breathless space between them
into which I sink.
You were too late. Good as dead –
long before I hit the water.
There was a bridge – the skid of tyres;
the smell of burning rubber.
I remember arthritic, sycamore trees –
bending, beckoning; gnarled, grey fingers...
Sunshine – courting my skin; sunlight,
flicking...flickering....a red sports-car
with the top down...
“Hey! You! What the fuck
were you thinking – riding way too fast
round that hairpin bend?”
Click image...ending.
Comments
Beeme | March 31, 2010 - 16:11
This is amazing Tina, I adore it! I love the images you use and the speech, it flows so well! An absolute delight. One of my favourite of yours, although I'm spoilt for choice, these were my favourite parts;
"So...come on. I’m waiting. Not got
too much time. Where’s the truth
behind the premise – life will flash
before my eyes?"
"I remember arthritic, sycamore trees –
bending, beckoning; gnarled, grey fingers..."
"Sunshine – courting my skin; sunlight,
flicking...”
Beautiful :-)
Beeme XX
Silver Spun Sand | March 31, 2010 - 16:23
Thanks so very much, Beeme.
I had such great fun with this. I was supposed to be doing some editing, but kept goofing-off to write this instead.
Your comments are very rewarding. Ta again;-)
Tina xx
kheldar | March 31, 2010 - 16:43
Too tired too offer any kind of sensible critique, will have to settle for "bloody brilliant!!"
David xx :--)
Silver Spun Sand | March 31, 2010 - 17:05
Oh dear, I'm sorry you're tired David. Me too. I'm still trying to adapt to this 'spring on' lark with the clocks. It is playing havoc with my beauty sleep...and it shows;-)
Glad you enjoyed and for telling me in no uncertain terms.
Have a peaceful evening.
Tina xx;-)
Anna Marie | March 31, 2010 - 19:08
Lovely lovely imagery. Your work is always a delight to read. A welcomed escape from the work I SHOULD be doing. :)
Great job,
Anna
Silver Spun Sand | March 31, 2010 - 19:13
I guess we're all the same, Anna;-)
Thank you so very much for taking time out to read this, and I am glad it was worthwhile...Now back to my editing.
Tina;-)
rjnewlyn | March 31, 2010 - 22:52
Yes, if only we could plan and control our deaths...
The arthritic trees image was particularly good, as Beeme points out. And the 'breathless space'.
Silver Spun Sand | March 31, 2010 - 23:44
rj - thank you. And...if only.
Tina
threeleafshamrock | April 1, 2010 - 09:34
It's got just about everything...but I do love the ironic-comedic element especially; another top-shelf offering Tina
Chris XXX
Silver Spun Sand | April 1, 2010 - 10:10
Very kind of you to say so, dear Chris;-) And the top of the mornin' to ya!
Hope your dog is venturing outside once again;-)
Tina XXX
shoe | April 1, 2010 - 10:22
very much enjoyed Tina, you get so much in, I like the 2 and 3 lines verses, and the disbelief, then the sadness, then the anger, excellent stuff,
Silver Spun Sand | April 1, 2010 - 10:35
Thanks so very much, Shirley.
I've still got your lovely poem on my mind, plus those wonderful images.
Glad you enjoyed mine too.
Tina;-)
MistakenMagic | April 1, 2010 - 16:41
'I remember arthritic, sycamore trees –
bending, beckoning; gnarled, grey fingers...'
- love the imagery in these lines, Tina. Brilliant pace and rhythm and great bang of an ending ;) Well done!
Magic xxx
Silver Spun Sand | April 1, 2010 - 16:55
Thanks so much, Magic. Glad you enjoyed;-) It's amazing how inspiring housework can be...or rather maybe it's a case of relieving the boredom whilst dusting etc.
Have a lovely Easter;-)
Tina xxx
Cavalcaderl | April 1, 2010 - 21:20
new Silver-spun-sand
Enjoyed all of this
imagery and words brill:
I can see you there almost.
Was it true.
Just a break young lad in and out
working,wall.coating gone.May come Monday!
Weather chilly wind.
Now re-done "Crocodile Tears"
with !"Kheldars" repost of it,his kind expertise re-done and help.
and yours thanks,MistakenMagic,Beeme.
Reads much better.What do you think now.
Hve a good Easter
julie xx
Silver Spun Sand | April 1, 2010 - 21:53
Julie - thanks for stopping by...and a happy Easter to you and yours too.
Crocodile Tears is brillllllllllliant now, shall leave a comment later. Just about to have my bath;-)
Have a peaceful evening, hopefully.
Tina xx