Time passed as Dawson slept, his dreams told of nightmare visions...withered faces, circled, they laughed hysterically, enjoying taunting him, till finally Dawson could take no more. The manifestations brought him to his knees, begging for mercy, with arms thrashing at the attack on him.
Hands touched his face as he started to wake. He could hear voices,
“Hey Mister...wake up...wake up.”
With his arms still thrashing around, Dawson opened his eyes almost too afraid of what he would see. Two eyes stared into his face, so close he
could smell the foul breath. He shot up...when he saw a young child
suddenly jump back with shock.
“Who are you?” yelled Dawson, his voice echoing around the chamber. He looked around, when he saw another boy examining the contents of his backpack. “Leave those things alone, you shouldn't be touching things that don't belong to you.”
The boy in front of him suddenly spoke. “He were only looking Mister.” Dawson grabbed the bag away.
There was a sudden silence as the other children were in awe of this
newcomer. The lad spoke again. “Me name's Varden...you don't arf wear some strange clothes Mister.”
Taking the items and putting them back in his bag, he turned to the boy. “My name's Dawson...not Mister.”
“Okay Mister Dawson,” said Varden laughing. He looked over at the other children, then stood up. “I think we'd better tell the Master we as
an intruder...what do you think guys?”
Dawson was starting to get angry and nervous, he couldn't understand what was going on, or where he was. “What do you mean, the master?
Look I need to know where I am.”
Varden crossed his arms acknowledging Dawson. “You came through the mist...didn't yer Mister Dawson?”
Dawson remembered the circumstances of the mist only too well, he hoped he'd never have to go through that again. “Yes I did...but you still haven't told me where I am?”
Varden started to run around, the other children followed him, as if he were the leader, skipping and chanting.
“You be in the doom chamber,
nobody gets out alive,
if the master finds you,
Mr won't survive.”
Varden stopped skipping, turning back to Dawson, the smile disappeared. “It's where all the disobedient children go, who don't do the master's bidding, cause we rebels, he chucks us in here and forgets about us...does the master.”
Dawson was starting to get angrier, as he strived to understand his situation. He still had no idea where he was, leave alone comprehend being kept a prisoner. standing up, he started to walk around looking for a way out. “Who is this master you speak of, and where is he?”
Some of the other boys cowed away in fear, as Varden spoke. “Our master's name is Gregor, he lives in the big house, surrounded by a
fort and guarded day and night.”
The boys started running around again and singing the chant, as Varden explained about the kidnapped children. He told Dawson that he didn't know where his family were. “I ain't afraid of the Master...you bet I ain't.”
Dawson felt sad at the thought of these children suffering, he wished there was something he could do. He asked about the mist and what it was hiding.
“Master tells us it's a portal to other worlds, that we wouldn't understand...only he's been through. Once you enter the chamber,
you ain't going back Mr Dawson...not without the special crystal...but
only the master knows where it be, he ain't saying nothing, so you be stuck here Mister.”
It had never occurred to Dawson that he had come through an entrance to another world, he was now seeing things a lot clearer. Turning to Varden, he said. “Look...I'll help you boys, but I ask that you help me too.”
“Why should we help you Mister? How do we know we can trust you?
We don't even know where you come from, or whether you're just as dangerous as the master.”
“Okay...I'll explain. My name's Dawson, I come from the planet Obsidian. I and my fellow travellers were on a mission to explore a planet, we discovered and probed for life. Some of the people we travelled with went missing, so I decided to search for them, which
led me to enter a cave. I walked along its tunnel, which led me to the mess I'm in now.”
“Wow!” exclaimed Varden excitedly. “What's that strange object on yer belt?”
“That's a stun gun, to put the enemy to sleep, giving me time to get away.”
One of the other boys became brave, coming over and introducing himself. “Me name's Gideon, can I hold your stun gun?”
Dawson touched his gun and exclaimed. “Oh no...most definitely not, it's a weapon and only to be held by those who know how to use it.”
Gideon had an answer for everything. “But you could show me how to use it."
“Okay!” said Dawson, “I really need to get out of this chamber, so if you show me the way out, I'll let you hold it, but you must promise not to do anything stupid...do you promise?”
Gideon nodded excitedly. Dawson took the gun from his belt and held it out reluctantly, not sure whether he should trust any of these children.
Gideon reached out, as Dawson placed the gun in his hands. A huge grin came over the dirty face of the boy, he was mesmerized, touching it as if it were a piece of solid gold.
“We ain't got no weapons.” said Varden. “Can you get any more of these stun guns? We could take over our earth and become leaders, that would teach Gregor.”
“No! Definitely not...Gideon give me back the gun.” Dawson snatched the gun back from the boy. “Okay I let you hold the gun, now you have to keep your side of the bargain and show me the way out.”
“We can show you Mister Dawson, but you ain't getting out.” said Varden. “We're completely blocked in.”
“That's okay...just lead the way,” replied Dawson.
Varden led the way, leaving the other boys behind in the chamber. There appeared to be a cavity in one of the walls, just big enough to squeeze through on your stomach. Dawson took his backpack off, and asked Gideon to hold it for him, making him promise not to touch any
of the contents, the boy promised, though Dawson wasn't sure he would keep to his word.
It took quite a while to get to the end of the narrow tunnel, which was dark and claustrophobic, but now Dawson realised what Varden meant, when he said he wouldn't be able to leave. There was one huge boulder blocking the entrance, that would take many men to move, there was no way Dawson would be able to budge it from the inside, even with help. They made their way back to the chamber. Dawson needed to think hard if he were to get out of here alive.
Comments
Highhat | August 18, 2012 - 18:35
Dear Jenn- why have you put this in Miscellaneous? Isn't it Sci-fi? I'm sorry I have come to these very late.. I'm sure I don't know what I am talking about.
It all sounds a bit exciting though.
;)Pia
Linda Wigzell Cress | August 18, 2012 - 22:07
Hi Jenny. Hope he makes it! Small point - 'fowl' should be 'foul' I think.
Linda
skinner_jennifer | August 19, 2012 - 15:27
Dear Pia,
I wasn't sure what to put this story under, as it
was continued on from The Chosen Ones.
I have to admit it does have a Sci-fi feel to it,
but It didn't to start with, so I just couldn't
think of a catergory to put it under, so just left
it with Miscellaneous.
Thankyou so much for your comment though, I
appreciate you taking the time to read and leave
a message.
Jenny.
skinner_jennifer | August 19, 2012 - 15:30
Hi Linda,
you know you are so right about that spelling
mistake, thankyou for helping me out, much
appreciated.
I'm so glad you're still reading and enjoying,
it means a lot that you let me know.
Thankyou.
Jenny.
Silver Spun Sand | August 20, 2012 - 08:47
I was right there, Jenny...inside that tunnel with Dawson, so I sure hope he makes it too;-)
Very much enjoyed.
Tina
skinner_jennifer | August 20, 2012 - 12:33
Really glad you enjoyed Tina and thankyou so much
for reading, always appreciated.
Jenny.
Denzella | September 4, 2012 - 20:10
Hello Jenny,
Catching up now. Will Dawson make it out of the cave? Will Dawson get back to his ship. What's happening there? Is Penny safe? What about the children?
Whoo whee, so enjoying this!
Onwards and upwards...great read,
Moya
Sorry Jen, forgot to mention little typo coward I think should be 'cowed'
skinner_jennifer | September 6, 2012 - 12:38
Hi again Moya,
I'm just sitting here with a cup of tea, having a
break and it's a pleasure to read your comment.
I understand what you meant about coward away, it's
strange because the two words cowed and coward
mean almost the same thing, but I'll change it
anyway.
Thanks again and hope you are well.
Jenny.
sue dinum | September 7, 2012 - 11:44
Hi Jen, thought I’d pop over and catch up a bit.
Continuing a really good story, you show wonderful imagination and maintain tension throughout. Much enjoyed.
Just a couple of things I noticed that may or may not help you.
Arms flying about?
This is an interesting one, and it may seem pedantic to cite it. Beware of phraseology that conjures up absurd and ludicrous images. We all know exactly what you mean, but somehow we can’t resist the amusing image of a pair of arms flying about on their own. You handled it brilliantly in your opening paragraph when you said:
…with arms thrashing at the attack on him…
Perfect description.
In your next paragraph where you mention it again and use the term ‘flying about’, you could have put it like this (below)and still not repeated your first description…
…With arms still ‘flailing’… (or still ‘thrashing)…
A better description and one that doesn’t leave you open to amusing and distracting misinterpretation.
Another small thing, tiny really. You dropped the 'h' in 'half' which should be okay, but more often than not you'll see half written as 'arf'. Somehow it looks better than Alf (name).
“Me name's Varden...you don't alf (arf)wear some strange clothes Mister.”
And I didn't understand the meaning of 'Coming to standing...' in this sentence..?
Coming to standing, he started to walk around looking for a way out.
Agree with Pia about the Sci-Fi category, it would definitely sell it better.
Overall, Jen, you are keeping up a brilliant standard of writing and keeping the reader hooked with twists and turns and intrigue. Jolly well done!
Trev
skinner_jennifer | September 7, 2012 - 16:15
Hi Trev,
I had such a laugh at the way you mentioned I'd
written, arms flying around. Of course you're
perfectly right, it's not until you pointed it
out, that I thought about it, but now I definitely
need to change it, before I die laughing. Thanks
for the help, also I'll have a look at the other
mistakes, thanks again.
I'm so pleased you're reading and enjoying, it's
made my day, because it's only now the story is
beginning, all the rest has been an introduction
leading up to this point.
Though I'm still not sure about the Sci-Fi, because
it's the follow on story from the Chosen Ones.
Thanks for being there for me anyway.
Jenny.