She cannot breathe,
suffocating in his snake like arms,
she pushes him aside he rebukes her,
there is no need for words,
his face tells all,
satire no longer works on her,
what of those satin sheets
so tasteful when first they met,
but now a reminder of what was
once upon a time, but is no longer.
Heavy obligations those vows they took,
that once were as light as a breeze,
how could she have known?
now she has to face another day.
Desolation that wretched grief takes over,
"can't live with him, can't live without him,"
she hears those words over and over.
Heading for the bathroom,
staring at her reflection in the mirror,
she suddenly feels detached,
"who is this woman, why can't she just leave?"
but this is the man she has given fifty years of
her life to,
"how can I walk away after fifty years?"
Tears start to fall as the feelings of despair
take hold once more,
"life cannot be so cruel,
oh! to escape to fly away to be free
of these shackles of my life."
A thought that's all it was,
but a thought can become an action,
what they say is true,
"action's speak louder than words,
so why not? go on do it,"
say's that person looking back at her,
"you know what you have to do,
after all it's your life,
you can fly anywhere you choose,
take control no more worries."
Her body moving towards the bath,
she lifts herself up onto the window sill,
tears once more filling her eyes,
opening the window she looks out,
it's a warm day in August,
but know one is about,
she takes a long last look at her life
and what has been and gone,
"It would be better all round if I just
stepped back in," she thinks to herself,
but that's not what she needs,
she needs to be free,
to fly with the birds,
go where she wants,
all her life she has thought of others,
always tiptoeing around on egg shells.
Suddenly she starts to feel anger
welling up inside,
"go away all of you, none of you know,
or really care how I feel, it's all a sham."
She leans forward, "come on do it,"
she closes her eyes,
slips away off the window sill,
she hears the sound of voices,
but feels no pain,
her body will not move,
then she tastes the metallic blood
that is her very life force,
everything goes fuzzy,
she wants it all to end here right now,
her wish is granted,
she has taken her last breath.
A note from the writer:-
I believe that what my mum did was wrong,
I do not condone suicide,
life is a great adventure and should be so.
In my opinion, if you are not happy with your life,
then you have every opportunity to change things,
there are so many organizations out there,
never be afraid to ask for help, never be afraid
to take control of your life, it's to precious