Humour

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A TOURIST

Breakfast on the waterfront
Al fresco in the morning air
Eleven-ish in the Medusa bar
An ice cream perhaps to share

Walking the beach together
Playing and having fun

SOMEONE PUT THE CAT OUT

Will someone put the cat out?
Please don't make me shout


A WORLD OF MY OWN

I live in my own little world
Yes I do I’m quite sincere

The Cautionary Tale of Young Henry Coles

The one Stephen Fry might have borrowed from...

PRIVATE PARTS

A young man joined the army
And he was known as Private Parts
But he was never meant for soldiering
The was clear right from the start

He was always finding trouble


HUNGRY SHAKESPEARE

To eat or not to eat, that is ingestion
Whether tis hunger in the mind to suffer


LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE # 10

To any problem no matter how difficult
There is the very simplest solution


Elvs the Dragon Slayer

My sister sent me a joke called Elfin the Dragon Slayer and I thought, what a great story that would make. So here it is, great or not.


Ladies man

We've all had those nights.

WOKINGS WOES

After a dismal start to the season
Woking are slowest out the blocks
With two points from seven games
The crowd are angry to their socks


LIGHT SOUND

Light travels faster than sound
A fact you simply cannot balk

The Theatre of Me: First Kiss

Gresham is kissed and likes it.


ENGLAND COACH - CAPELLO

The new England supremo
Mr Fabio Capello
Plans to take the England team
And fulfill our football dream

TWO WAY FAMILY FAVOURITES

My wife isn't very keen on a 69
If I suggest it she turns me down flat


OH BOY

What you will actually see
When that irritating putz


GEE PEE

An embarrassed young man visited his GP
As he had a problem when he went to pee
The man explained when he went to tinkle

TIME

Now what determines
The length of a minute

 THE PIE SHOP Chapter Seven Maurie's Story

A stern lesson!


Always Read the Label Chapter 27 Ways to Get Back Home

Every time I walk around Soho, I await the tap on the shoulder before I'm told I'm not cool enough to be here on my way to what will inevitably be last week's favoured hangout

THE WALRUS AND THE LETTUCE CRISPER

Well a Walrus and Tupperware
Have a preference they share