Jokes

Mice or Mouses?

Teaching my mice English is not so bad,
When the lesson is finished my mice are glad.
I put my heavy book away on the shelf.
Sometimes I have been known to talk to myself.

I knew your background people

For our wordsmiths, a short under 200 words.

Each of us knew her father scoured mall stores for the perfect gift.

Love is a pain, love is cruel
It turns us all into fools
It hurts like a slap to your face
Some say it’s the thrill of the chase
You crushed my heart like a grape

The Irishman takes out a g-string and bra.

They are teenage witches, who spend their days searching for their heart’s desires. Of course, all their desires revolve around finding a man.

The shadows creep closer now,
as she looks away,
she could swear,
that they creep upon her.

It reminds her of a childhood,
a game she used to play,
she hated it then,
she loathes it now.

It was that scientist bloke at number 34.

?

The conflicting priorities of modern life.

One day though, Gran ran out of whiskey. She yelled down the phone “Send Little Red with whiskey!”

Calban endures his mother's passions and different outlook, in this futuristic city, which has much in common with our own times.

There’s a topiary dog in the village, that stands over two metres high.
It wasn’t his size but his greenness, that first caught my critical eye.
He doesn’t need any feeding.

I hope you like this one. I had a lot of fun writing it. Beware! Here comes Mouldysocks...

This is my version of the Three Little Pigs with a cunning twist...Feel free to check out my other gruesome fairy tales :) Critical feedback is much appreciated.

Hansel and Gretel- The real gory story

Have you heard the tale,
About a lovely little snail?
Well, this isn't the same story,
'Coz this one is a lot more gory!

It shouldn't happen

Betty McKinley tore through the house in a fiery huff.

“Where the hell is it!” she demanded.

“How on earth should I know,” said her husband Robert. “I don’t wear the darn thing.”

Daniel Smith, was in a drug bust and the judge sentenced him three months in rehab. Would he recover from his drug addiction? Satire. School project.