Jokes

What do Harry Potter and Rebecca Loos have in common?

They are both familiar with Hogwarts.

Still they are very different.

He saved everyone’s bacon but she gave the swine a hand.

I wrote this back in March 2004. It's my version of a very old joke.

Jack-o-lantern!

Okay, I may not be feeling quite myself, but I think this is great..... Of course I didn't write it, but I did remove some padding.

Montgomery, Montgomery
The greatest cad in history
A weasel sly and Slippery
In expensive cotton frippery
His smile so slick and buttery
Makes the ladies tummies fluttery

This is a disgusting piece I wrote a few years ago on Myspace, 'A Place For Friends' as it tags itself.

This is a satirical depiction of the ever changing nature of teenage cults, or 'scenes' as they call themselves.

Does a Chiropodist chirop?

We pile on, clamoring for the seats with as much energy as can be expected that early in the day. I look around at my fellow travelers; their faces grim and weary.

My mother had a nervous breakdown trying to fit round tomatoes into square sandwiches

Two blondes walk into a building, you would have thought one of them would have seen it!!!

From me, a bit of fun for a change. Your favourite jokes from school converted into that much maligned form: the limerick.

Am i feeding some scheme
to disenchant?
a be-wicked
way
to exploit.

Buy in
and i'll tell
you what's what,
I am listening
to the people,

We sell all
and buy
more.

Capture this moment.
Full stop
don't
begin,
positive,
again?
We're already there.

Closed to tears, she giggled at what was printed

Harmers Oath

I have a simple question that wont let me relax
How can you determine as a matter of fact?
Whether they're on their fronts or their backs

It¡¯s strange wanting
To have pride of place
In some backlog of memory
And diary etchings
I read through hers,
And those who passed through
Wondering which, embodies me most
Another shoddy reflection.

American Humor

Devotee : Who had tempted the first man Adam to eat the fruit of wisdom ?
Father : It was the wicked serpent ,my son !
Devotee : Then what is the sex of the serpent ?
Father : The holy Bible does not tell any thing about that ,my son !