I was born in East London in 1980 and grew up there before heading for the bright lights of Norwich. Yes, I am a member of the UEA clique, but that doesn't mean I actually like all of them. I've performed poetry in various places whenever I could be arsed, including the Edinburgh, Glastonbury and Latitude Festivals. Now I'm in an electronic-punk-rap-folk band called Norwich Face Transplant which puts my poetry to music. I no longer live on a fen amongst mustard, but have returned to Cockneytown.
Also, in my spare time, I am Biggus.
My Stories
Kathmandu’s like Walthamstow Submitted on January 5, 2009 - 23:26 | 34 reads
It’s not dead, it’s reincarnated Submitted on January 2, 2009 - 20:06 | 123 reads
Clogyrnachs to Youth Submitted on December 17, 2008 - 21:48 | 73 reads
Mind games, April 2007 Submitted on December 15, 2008 - 21:48 | 88 reads
Free England Submitted on December 12, 2008 - 10:19 | 4292 reads
The boot's in the other groin Submitted on December 10, 2008 - 11:42 | 159 reads
It seems that I’m a paedophile Submitted on December 8, 2008 - 21:45 | 98 reads
Smack your bloke up Submitted on December 2, 2008 - 10:38 | 269 reads
This season I have been mostly wearing… Submitted on November 28, 2008 - 10:59 | 80 reads
Satellite Vagination System Submitted on November 25, 2008 - 14:46 | 106 reads
Canine glares Submitted on October 10, 2008 - 11:43 | 160 reads
Clerihew for Helen Duncan Submitted on October 7, 2008 - 13:38 | 147 reads
Dalriada Submitted on October 2, 2008 - 13:16 | 155 reads
I’m a geezer (chav anthem #1) Submitted on September 29, 2008 - 14:40 | 327 reads
My heart is only for my virgin girl Submitted on September 27, 2008 - 16:43 | 520 reads
The morning I woke up and realised that I was Welsh Submitted on September 26, 2008 - 09:04 | 163 reads
Sexy Marlene (has massive tits) Submitted on September 24, 2008 - 10:14 | 239 reads
Opsimath, January 2007 Submitted on September 8, 2008 - 23:02 | 145 reads
Christmas Aunties Submitted on September 7, 2008 - 14:54 | 258 reads
Sharp Cockneys Submitted on September 3, 2008 - 13:46 | 242 reads
Apathy in the UK Submitted on September 1, 2008 - 10:38 | 308 reads
Page Three Manifesto (has massive tits) Submitted on August 27, 2008 - 17:53 | 228 reads
Britain in 2006 Submitted on August 22, 2008 - 17:46 | 151 reads
Kicked the habit Submitted on August 21, 2008 - 18:22 | 157 reads
Stanley Submitted on August 20, 2008 - 17:32 | 167 reads
Wash the streets Submitted on August 18, 2008 - 17:09 | 212 reads
Chicken Caesar Submitted on August 16, 2008 - 23:18 | 165 reads
South-Central Walthamstow Submitted on August 14, 2008 - 16:42 | 246 reads
Miss Willoughby (has massive tits) Submitted on August 12, 2008 - 22:13 | 2159 reads
