Make My Day by Silver Spun Sand
Thu, 2006-06-15 15:03
#1
Make My Day by Silver Spun Sand
http://www.abctales.com/story/silver-spun-sand/make-my-day
As a man I would say she had invited such a comment. How say you girls.
Interesting poem though,
SpeedyG
Yutka
Great start, not so sure about the third stanza....could it be, may be end , more witty, more humerous?
My daughter liked the end, but for me, there was just something missing, you don't mind me saying it...I think, "a lecherous face" might be not strong enough for an end. But that's just me ....
Silver Spun Sand
Thanks so much Yutka for your very helpful comments. Couldn't agree more. Have changed the third and final stanza, but still not sure. What do you think? Like to get your thoughts. TY SSS