Moon wishes
By Kahdai
Mon, 19 Apr 2010
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4 comments
The candles are left melting
when the crescent moon is waxing
and the people set their wishes to the west,
believe to come true, when they see the full-moon.
I will know when you are strong
& we can stay out all night long,
forget whatever we've left behind.
Head back to the real world
and our responsibilities,
yet not until,
we see the whole moon.
The nights spells will win us over
and then you feel your body waning
Let us take some time to recover
before we see the energy draining.
The cold numbs our muscles
throught to our bones,
darkness wakes us up
only ache for sleep.
The clouds clear,
hear wolves howl,
home ones cheer,
seeing the moon.
Wishes come true
free one go home.
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Comments
I love the first two Kahdai!
Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on
I love the first two Kahdai! Why not post them all as separate poems? Then I think it's easier for people to give feedback! (Just a suggestion!)
I think you've missed out a few spaces in that last one though here - 'abubble' and 'inthe'. And I think 'thehr' should be 'their' - hope this helps! Really love the images you have used in this one by the way! ;)
Magic xxx
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Hi Kahdai, I really liked
Hi Kahdai, I really liked the images of the first one, the first stanza especially.
I found the the third one interesting with a strong message, though a little abstract, if that's the word. I think with a little editing it would be even better, :~}
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