Sitting in the British Library

Why do I love it, why does it get me down?
Why?
I like the sheen and the patina and the sloping doors, the slope
of the floors, the romanticisation
of books, of covers, illuminations ... I like
the way i can think .. little i in debate with big I ...
I hate that i can barely see ... I hate
that gloom gives a tone of respectability. I
like/hate all those people at little tables in their own
personal glow of notebook screen, all so
barely seen. I like the tea. i hate the
baldacchino where you can have a fag,
each person staring definitely at the
space they form before their eyes as they draw
and exhale, unfeeling, cold.
9i hate the sheen and the patina,
the double doors, the bag check, the
romanticising of illuminations ... I hate when big I
goes into revolt against little i – i hate the cloakroom –
I like that I can sit there and look at the grey through
the windows and think-feel three opposing things at once
and feel pleasantly at sea.