Boots - Chapter 1

Her own money. That’s all it had taken to make today happen. Jessi knew in her heart that it was right, what she wanted, needed. It had taken all her money, and mom wasn’t happy about that, but it ‘was’ her money. They were black, shiny and tall. She had played and replayed that record by Nancy somebody singing about them until mom had finally yelled “Stop!” even though Jessi could see she was smiling, but now they were hers. She smiled, realizing why that lady had been singing about boots.

Jessi had gone back upstairs to her room after breakfast and undressed, but even though her door had been closed for 15 minutes, she still hadn’t put anything on. She sat on the floor, the morning sun warming her skin and brightening her room, the carpet warm but scratchy on her butt, as she looked at her new boots. She couldn’t wait to put them on, but she was too excited to decide what to wear with them, she just knew it had to be perfect. First day. The first day of school was today, first day in Jr. High, she reminded herself, where looks were everything, and the first day set the tone for the rest of the year. 1970 was going to be her year.

There weren’t many fond memories from 6th grade. She had friends, but not ‘friends’. She did…OK in school, but mom always said she could do better. She wanted to do better, at least she thought she did, but there was so much going on it was hard to concentrate. She also remembered Cindy telling her all the way back in 4th grade, that boys didn’t like smart girls. Jessi wasn’t sure if she even liked boys, but she thought she might, someday. Someday didn’t matter though, because it was today, and today her life would change. She was a 7th grader and this year, she would fit in, people would like her, talk to her, maybe… laugh with her and point at all the other strange kids, which she dearly hoped with all her heart, would not be her again.

She stood up and stretched in the sun like a leopardess, feeling her young muscles still warm from the sun. Smiling, she went to her dresser and pulled out the third drawer down. First things first she thought, her underwear drawer groaning as it dragged against the wood “thingies” it slid on. The dresser had been Roberts, a ‘boys’ dresser, and it was large and heavy and ugly, like Robert she laughed. Dad said a dresser was a dresser, but she saw mom felt the same way she did, even though she didn’t stand up for her when Jessi had asked for a girls dresser. She searched, moving underwear around until she pulled out her favorite pair, white with tiny rainbow colored hearts on them. She pulled them on, and reached back in for a pair of socks. Moving to her closet, she slid the door back and stood, staring into the closet, deciding what dress to put on. It would be as important as her new boots if she was going to be different, if ‘everything’ was going to be different this year.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she laughed as she spun around, always keeping an eye on the mirror. Her dress was the soft brown of her eyes, with puffy sleeves and a tight waist before flowing out again. It only reached to her upper thigh, but that’s what the girls on TV were wearing. Mom is not going to like this she thought, I better make it quick. She sat down on the bed to pull on her boots, her boots! She could see her rainbow hearts reflected back at her, I have to be careful how I sit today, then pulled the boots on slowly. She loved the feel as she slid each foot in, zipping each one before standing up. The boots came up mid-calf, made from shiny black leather, with a chunky heel and a tapered block toe. The zippers were chrome, with round chrome rings to pull with. Maybe they won’t make my dress look so short she thought, before heading downstairs.

Mom wasn’t happy with the dress she picked out. “It’s too short Jessi, go change”

“Mooom”. Jessi could see even her obvious exasperation wasn’t going to win this one, so she changed tactics. “I’m late, I don’t have time to change, I can’t be late for my first day”.

“Who are you walking to school with?” her mom asked.

Why did she keep asking that question? It hurt to tell her that she didn’t have anyone to walk with, she never had. Why does she keep asking? “No one…mom, I have to go!”, then she was out the door, the screen banging shut, making as much noise as her mom, with about the same affect. She kept her mind working, trying to forget about walking to school alone. My lunch! she thought, before remembering, smiling at the thought, I get to buy my lunch at school now.

Taft Jr. High was a much larger campus than Juarez Elementary had been. There are so many kids she thought, where did they all come from? She couldn’t see anyone who seemed as nervous as she was, but she did notice several people looking at what she was wearing, which made her smile. Lots of them were boys, which made her smile even more, then blush. Please God, let me be popular, let me fit in. Jessi realized, as she heard the first bell ringing, that she had no idea what her classes were or where they were going to be. She had forgotten, until now, that all her classes were not in the same room anymore. She needed to find her schedule, then find out where her classes were going to be. The first stages of doubt started to settle slowly around her lithe frame, as she ran to the offices to get her schedule. Please, please let things change, don’t let me be who I was.